Misunderstood mistake
by fictionpress1213
Summary: With a big misunderstandment between Ana and Christian break them? It isnt either of their faults, But the outcome is just to much to bare. Can they overcome it? Who will get hurt along the way?
1. Chapter 1

When I was twenty four I met the love of my life, Anastasia. She changed me, showed me I can love, showed I can be loved in return, and showed me I am a good man besides all the bad things from my past. Till this day I still love that woman. Now I am twenty seven. Three years ago on September 9, there was an attack in the world trade center. On that day Anastasia was in that building. It had been hours and hours until the cops got everything under control and could decide who was alive and who were dead. Those were the worst hours of my life. I saw people burning, throwing themselves off of the building to save them self the agony, I saw people being crushed from the falling building pieces. At 11:00 at night I was contacted and told that the remainder of people who were alive where not Anastasia, and the dead bodies who can be identified were n her either. They told me she must have been the numbers of bodies who cannot be identified due to the severe damage they have endured; they told me she was dead. I've been in a state of depression for the first couple of months; I attempted to kill myself about 20 times in the past years. I was close to losing my empire had it not been for my family to help me. I've been slowly recovering with the help of Kate and Anastasias family. It was only until three months after Anastasias death that I had some closure when I found Osama bin laden and killed the fucker with my two bear hands, but not before killing his family in front of him so he can feel the same pain I had to take, and a still dealing with every day. I got awarded with tons of money from the U.s government. I don't need it thought; the fact that she is still dead is killing me. But I have had some light come into my life ever since I met Rosalie. Not only was it her blue eyes that attracted me to her because of the almost exact resemblance they have to Ana's, but the fact that she is to warm and loving. A month ago I decided to pop the question and marry her. Something I never got to do with Ana, something I regret every day. I just can't lose her now too; she is the only thing helping me a little other than my family. She sheds a little light in my dull life, and although she can never amount to my Ana, I have learned to love her. She is like the piece of thread holding me from the brink of death.

ANASTASIAS POV

It's been three years! Three fucking years since I have been held a hostage along with fifteen other people. When I was in the building there were people who took every one on my entire floor and said they needed some leverage, for their future plans. They took my floor because my floor was a meeting with U.S navy and marines, we were going to reward them with a metal for the work in their most recent battles. Those men where the ones who help saved thousands of lives on a sinking submarine. What better leverage then irreplaceable hero's. It's been hell here. I wish I would have died, but the only thing that can actually keep me going is the hope that I can see Christian again. Hold him, kiss him, and console him. The people from Afghanistan that are keeping us here have been sending videos of us talking, and using us to get some money from the U.S. I know that they are just giving them money to keep us alive and on the side they are doing everything in their power to track us down. What more can they need. The U.S has given them probably millions of dollars by now, and yet we are still here. They have already killed one lady, because the government didn't obey their demands. I know they chose her though because she was just a receptionist, they couldn't afford to kill on of the important people. They said I was too beautiful to kill. I have been on the verge of being raped many times, but there leader keeps saying no. I don't understand why? But I know it had been torture. I get hit for disobeying orders. I get fed like a dog; I don't get bathed; only a hose aimed at me, that hurts like hell. I don't know how much more I can last. I'm living like an animal, I'm so skinny, I'm surprised that I haven't endured an infection down here. The nights and mornings are hot. I know for a fact if I can see myself I am anything but pretty. The most disgusting thing is that although they are given orders not to rape me they still force there tongue down my throat, give me hickeys, and feel me up once in a while. I feel like a whore. I wish I can go home, I can't survive like this. The thought of how Christian is doing makes my mind flustered.

The next morning…

"GET ON THE GROUND!" What the hell? I open my eyes only to see many men with guns attacking out hostages. Gun shots are going off; I see body's dropping on the ground. Could it be? Am I finally being rescued? "Mam, can you hear us?" I can see the guy eyeing me up and down and taking the strand pieces of hair out of my hair, and caressing my cheek. Finally a touch that isn't forced or inappropriate. "Yes I'm ok. What…. What is going on?" I can feel my arms and legs being freed by the ropes, well this is another added hard limit for the playroom, definitely no ropes. "Mam everything is fine. You're safe now we are getting everyone here back to Washington, and getting you all to the hospitals so we can talk to the presidents head quarters." OH MY LORD! I'm being saved. I could kiss this man right now. I'm finally going home. I can see Christian, My parents, Kate… Christian. I feel the man lift me up and from there everything starts to spin and whirl, and the darkness starts to take over.

Two days after….

I remember waking up yesterday and being asked a series of question. I was in Clarkson Washington, in a local hospital. After the rescue I had fainted and am not doing so good. My vital signs are weak and I need to rest and am on lots of medication for the time being. Beside the questions of what happened while I was there, how did I get abducted ect, I was asked to give me a name of a family member(s) to contact to let them know. They said they were told to not tell anyone of our hostage because they weren't sure if they can get us back alive. "Okay Umm, my boyfriend, or ex boyfriend Christian Grey." As if magic the mere mention of his name did the trick. "The Christian Grey of Grey Enterprises?" I nod my head in agreement as he gave me a weary look as to tell me something but went right on. "And my mother 555-2925 and my dad 555-3456." He nodded his head and went out to contact them. Wow all these years of them thinking I passed I wonder what's going to happen. The clustered feelings of sadness, overwhelmness, anger, rage, fear, all went away as my sight began to fade yet again and I drifted off.

Christians POV

"Rose I'm here babe." I walk in to see Rose on the island stools, lost in her lap top. I walk up to her and kiss her lightly on her head before going to the kitchen to get myself a glass of wine. "Hey baby how was your day?" She closes her lap top and rests her face on her hands and her elbows on her counter. I take to glasses and pour white wine in them. "I got two good investors both paying about 2 billion a year, that should help bring up my company from its brink of destruction. Other than that same old." I smile and take a sip of my wine and hand hers to her. She puts her drink down and has a darkening gleam in her eye. "Want to celebrate?" I chuckle and lay my glass down as I go to kiss her. While we are crashing are mouths together, and devouring each other we are interrupted by a call. "MMMMM." She puts as I break from the kiss and take out my cell from my pocket. "Hold on just a sec." I click the answer button and turn away from her. "GREY!" Who the fuck is calling me at this time? "Mr. Grey, Hello this is detective Martin calling from St. Clarkson's Hospital. I have some very important news that informs you. On 9-11 during the attack there were a total of 16 people who were took hostage, in custody of a man named Remoko Laden, Osama Bin laden's brother. The government had been constructing a plan for the past three years to bring back the hostages alive, and we were informed that one of the hostages was your girlfriend Anastasia Steele. We have her here in Clarkson's in critical condition, and thought we should inform you." I can't breathe. My life, my baby, My Ana. She's Alive? My reason for living is alive?! "Th.. Thank you, I'll be there in approximately an hour and a half. While she's there I'll need her to be upgraded to maximum care, please put that all on my card." I hang up and quickly dial Taylor's number. "Sir?" "Taylor I need you to get Charlie tango ready for takeoff as soon as possible. We need to be at Clarkson's, I'll inform you with further details when I see you." "Yes Sir." I hang up my phone and close my eyes. For the first time in years I can breathe, my heart aches less, I feel like my life has light again. I need to see my baby. "Christian? What's wrong?" I turn and face my wife. How the hell can I forget I have a wife? What the fuck am I suppose to do?


	2. Chapter 2

What the fuck am I suppose to tell her? My wife? That my ex lover who I Love more than life itself isn't really dead but alive., and no one can ever amount to her? What about Ana? What am suppose to tell her? She's goanna be crushed. "That was detective Martin. It turns out during 9-11 they were a group of people who were abducted, and taken hostage… Anastasia was on of them and she is alive, In Clarkson hospital." I stare at rose intently. I see her intake of breath and her pupils widen. She starts to blink excessively and frown while she looks around the room, trying to gather her thoughts. "Anastasia, she's alive? That's why you need Charlie tango I'm guessing? You're going to see her?" I frown a little and set my mouth into a grim line. "Yes." I have nothing else to say. She sucks on her bottom lip and let's go slowly while nodding her head. "Okay." That's all the words I get from her as she goes back to the island counter to retrieve her lap top. Never looking at me she walks past me and stops at my side. WE are now side by side, she is facing the hall and I am facing the kitchen, I don't have the guts to look her way, neither does she. She grabs hold of my arm, kisses it, and slowly leaves her lips on my arm to inhale my sent, before giving it a squeeze and walking off. The warmth of the touch she just made still lingers on my arm. I have a lot of shit to deal with. I wish I could rewind or fast forward or do something. But the only thing running in my mind is the fact that my baby is alive. Not dead, but alive.

Anastasia's POV

Slowly I flutter my eyes open, trying to bare with the strong bright lights that are still pretty much new to me. My body is numb; every breath I take is a struggle for me as the sharp pain pierces through my body. I bite my lips and screw my eyes shut as I take in the pain. Okay Ana juts try and calm down, don't get to excited. I go for small short breaths because they seem to hurt less. As I gather up the strength to open up my eyes again I can see a figure a figure hovered over my bead kissing my hands. As I blink a couple of more times to clear my vision I can put together some details. Copper hair, White shirt, and that's all the details I need to make him out as Christian. "Chris.. Christian?" My breathing fastens and a small frown forms on my head. He's here. Suddenly he looks up and I can see a series of tears rolling down his face, and his red eyes are staring at me. "Oh Ana baby." I can feel tears of my own fall from my eyes down to my cheeks and onto my hair. I have been waiting for this day for over three years. He suddenly grabs hold of either sides of my face and kisses my hairs and forehead. "Oh god Christian. I've missed you." He stays there inhaling my scent and reviling in the moment as am I until he finally sits on the chair near my bed, and takes hold of my hand. "Ana, god you don't know how fucking good it is to hear you, smell you, feel you," He closes his eyes as more tears strut down his face, "I can't explain the feeling I feel right now, nor can I explain the feelings of how I felt when I found out you died, or how I had to cope with the fact that it was indeed true. I…. I couldn't…" He stops again and kisses my hand again. Oh god if only I can just show him rather than tell him how I feel. "Baby I know believe me….. I love you so much Christian and that was what kept me going the whole time. No one else or nothing else just the mere though that I can see you again gave me hope." I squeeze his hand tighter until I feel something pressing against my finger. I look down at out intertwined hands and my heart completely stops. Here I thought my heart couldn't possibly be broken any more, I couldn't be in more pain than what I am in already. I was wrong. "Christian…." I unlock my hands with his and take hold of his ring finger that has a gold ring places on it. I look from him to the ring so much times hoping that it would disappear, that I was hallucinating. He notices what I'm looking at and he stays stock still. "A.. a ring? Why do you have a ring Christian?" I ask as my voice gets a little higher and my head shakes. "Ana I'm.. When you died… I got married." I inhale and my heart stops and I forget to breath. I just stay there as my ability to breath is lost , and my exhale that is waiting to come to release my suffering is stuck in my throat. I stay there wide eyed, as one single tears falls from my eye and leaves a trail of color all the way down to my lip. As I close my eyes shut because I can't bare to look at him any longer, many more tears flow freely but no sound is coming out. I let out a shuddering exhale, and hide my face behind my hands. He has a wife. He said I was the only one he ever wanted. Was it a lie? Does he let her touch him? Is she a sub? With every question I seem to be hurting more and more. How could he? "Ana baby please let me explain." Explain? How in the hell can he explain? He takes my hands out of my face leaving my face once again exposed. But the pain I'm feeling is getting stronger by the minute, as new thoughts come into my head. He said he loved me, I showed him how to love. My tears are no longer silent as they become loud panting breaths. I can feel my heart beating fast as If it will surely break through my fragile body, considering the state I'm in. Now things are just a blur. I'm fighting for air as my breathing quickens and my chest starts to rise and fall in a fast motion. I can hear my heart monitor beeping like crazy and can see faint images of many people surrounding me and Christian panicking. "We're losing her!" I can hear different shouts, some of my name, some cry's, some about my condition. I can't hold on any longer. I can't breathe. My vision is being blurred and I'm letting go. I'm letting go of all the pain, the aching the sorrow. I'm letting go of my life. I don't want to feel this hurt any longer. These feelings of betrayal, abandonment, disbelief. I can't fight any longer; my body isn't in my control. What's the point of living anyways, if your reason for living, the person that makes you happy most, doesn't belong to you anymore? All of my thoughts, my pain, and my panic are released as I finally let go. The last thing I hear is the sound of my heart monitor that had nothing left to monitor as my heart beat goes flat.


	3. Chapter 3

"We are gathered here today to celebrate the life of Anastasia Rose Steele. She was a beautiful, Strong, woman who went through a lot before she passed away. None of us from church have an doubts that she is joined with our lord, and all her suffering has gone away. She is in the hands of our father, may her soul rest in peace. Now does anyone want to say a few words about Anastasia?" Through all my sobs and tears I know I have to say something. Anastasia is dead, for real. All because of me this time, all because I cost her so much heart ache. I knew she was too good for me, I killed her. I raise my hand but as I stand I'm yelled at by many people. "YOU KILLED HER! GET OUT OF HERE!" Ana's parents, Kate even my parents are yelling at me. They are all chastising me for what I did. It should have been me. All of it, the death, the torture, I should have been the one to go through that, not Ana. She is a good person; she deserved to live, to be happy. I glance at the casket and can see her beautiful face. Suddenly I see her eye's shoot open and her breathing accelerate and she looks at her surroundings and starts to yell. "Christian! Christian how could you do this to me!?"

I shoot up right from my bed covered in sweat and breathing heavily. The same fucking reoccurring dream for the past week. The last time I saw Ana I gave her a panic attack, and almost broke her heart literally. She died for 2 seconds, but the doctors brought her back to life. That fucking sound of her heart monitor going flat still haunts me. I almost died that day to, I fainted when I saw her dying in front of my eyes, I couldn't breathe I also had a panic attack. She recovered quickly and is back with Kate in their old apartment. I look to my side and see my wife asleep her back facing me. She knows about my issues with people touching me, people other than Ana, and she accepts it. She has never touched me although we still sleep in the same bed. The clock rings and it is 5:30 Am. This is yet another sleepless night because of my new nightmares. I should just fucking get some work done, it doesn't look like I'll be getting much sleep anyways.

Anastasia's POV

It's been a week since I've been back home. I've missed my family, my freedom, my home. But everything's changed. Everyone's acting like 'm a fragile little girl. Yes I have been through a lot, things I may never get over, but the fact that everyone is acting so different around me isn't helping. Its 7:00 and I'm up in my bed staring at the ceiling. My room is untouched, Kate said she couldn't touch it, she wanted to leave everything the same because it was too hard for her, or anyone really. She and Elliot are still together. That's nice to hear, because from what I can remember he makes her really happy. At least she is still happy. My mind has been on Christian. I confronted Kate on walking around my feelings like I was a child, and she told me she will tell me anything I wanted to know. She told me how Christian's life spiraled out of control after my death. How he attempted to kill himself many times, and went into a deep state of depression. She said he almost lost his empire, and how she was the one to bring him out of his state. She told me of his wife, Rosalie. The irony of her blue eyes, and the fact that her name is rose. It was the fact that she reminded him so much of me that he was drawn to her. She made him feel like I was still there, and He didn't want to let her go, she was like a replacement Ana. She told me of their wedding, and how Rosalie helped him with his company, and his emotions. From what I gathered she was good for him, she was like morphine for all his pain. She was his ticket out of the road he was going through. Basically she's partially the reason he didn't kill himself, and lose everything. After mine and Kate's discussion I took the liberty of searching his name up, and finding pictures with him andher. She is beautiful; she's basically the epitome of me. Her big blue eyes, long brown hair. I should be thanking her, be thankful for her, but it hurts too much. I don't want Christian to be with anyone but me. All I wanted out of everything that happened to me was one thing, to be with him. To be reunited with him. I thought things could go back to the way things were, because everything that happened wasn't me or him running, or us breaking up, or anything like that. It was us being pried of our happiness and love. Things were going so well for us, he let me touch him, share a bed with him; he declared his love for me. We were continuing to have out firsts with each other. Now what, had he had firsts with her. Is she in his bed, touching him, declaring her love for him? I throw the duvet off of me and sit upright. What am I supposed to do? Sitting here and pitying me isn't doing shit for either of us. He hasn't even tried to get in contact with me. Knowing Christian he is afraid he will hurt me, or he thinks I never want to see him. I guess it is up to me to go and see him then. I need to do this, to get closure, to find out what is going on with us. Right now he is probably at work, this is my chance. I get up and go into my closet. I have gained weight from my constant eating, and look way healthier than how I did before. I am shaved bathed, and my hair and eyebrows are cut. I look like my old self. Now for clothing, I need to look nice, not too nice like I'm trying too hard though. I get out my red short tight dress, and add my leather jacket on top. I pair that up with my black combat boots. That's causal looking. I can tell you that my style had definitely changed. I've been through a big obstacle in my life, one that changed my life dramatically, a change was required. My hair is curled and I go with black Smokey eye. Kate showed me how to do it ever since I've came back. I like the intimidating effect it gives me, and I want to go with it. After I'm dressed and washed, I head off to the kitchen to eat some breakfast. The more time I have on my hands the more I doubt my plan. I grab a quick bagel to go and call a cab to Grey Enterprises. What if is there? What if he doesn't let me up, surly if his workers see me there is dead ex girlfriend they will inform him. All that was said on the news was the situation with the hostages, I told them not to mention my name. I really don't need the press on my back when I'm dealing with a shit load right now. We stop in front of Grey's house and I just stare at it. All the memories of this place, the memories with me and Christian. This is where we first met, and as of now this can be where it all ends. I hand the driver a 20 dollar bill and head out. With a long deep breath I enter and as I see blonde number 1 like I remember she stares at me wide eyed. "Ana… Anastasia?" She remembers me? Wow that's nice. I give her a small smile and a head nod. "Yes that's me. Is Christian available? Or is this a bad time?" She is still wide eyed but quickly retrieves herself as she swallows. "Umm. Ye... Yes Mr. Grey is indeed available. Would you um. Umm like to see him?" Stuttering? Wow she is in shock. I smile as she tells me he is free. That is good to hear. "Yes I would please. Can you not inform him, this is kind of a surprise?" I give her a pleading face and she smiles and gives me the okay. I smile as I take the elevator up to the 22ndfloor. Still looks the same from here to. Andrea gives me the same reaction I got from blonde number one down stairs stairs and I just place my finger to my lips and mouth "Shhhh," as I enter his office. This time when I enter there is fortunately no tumbling. I smile at the history in here and watch him as his eyes glance down from his work and up to me. His elbow is rested against his desk and his finger is pressed again is cheek bone. And once again I get the same reaction as everyone else, god this is getting old. "Anastasia." He quickly closes his work, stands up and walks over to me. He brings me into a big embrace and lifts me off the floor. I wrap my arms around him as many tears escape my eyes. I've missed him so much; his touch still gives me a tingly sensation. "Oh baby." He starts to repeat the same process of kissing my hair as he did in the hospital. I just hold on to him tight and let him. "Christian, we need to talk." This gets his attention as he backs away and leads me to sit on the couch. "I talked to Kate. I know about what happened and how you dealt with my death. I also know how this woman… Your wife Rosalie helped you more than anyone could. She saved you Christian. She saved you from yourself, from all your demons that were eating you alive. She helped you when no one else could, when I couldn't. For that I am so grateful for her, for her making you happy, and keeping you alive," I put my hand on his face as tears crawl down my face uncontrollably, "She is making you happy, just as I'm sure you are making her happy too. This is why I have to go." He puts his hand over my hand that is laying on his face and holds on tightly. "No Ana," But I cut him off. I place both of my hand on his face now and nod my head slowly as I reassure him. "No I do I have to go. You found someone new someone who did something so remarkable for you. She is good for you Christian and I can't interfere with that," I close my eyes as more tears fall from my face, "I love you so so much, you don't know how each word is killing me right now. I wish that day never happened that it can somehow be erased. That day ruined my life Christian, But I'm not goanna strip her of her happiness after all the good she has done for you. I owe her, because if I were to find out you were dead because of me, I don't know what I would do. So I need you to do me a favor. You make that woman the happiest woman alive; you cherish her and love her for all that she has done. You need to forget about me and move on Christian, it's for the better." With every word that comes out of my mouth it's like a knife twisting in my soul. I'm pushing him away, for the better. I can't do that to a woman who helped Christian. I take a breath and lean in to kiss him, it's our final goodbyes. I plant a soft kiss on his lips and can taste both of our tears. I pull back and lay my forehead against his, eyes closed. "I Love you so much, that's why I need to do this for you, for us." I smile and stare and the Grey eyes filled with tears and hurt, and give him a small smile. AS I let go of his face and turn away I am pulled back by him as his lips crash into mine and he picks me up and wraps my legs around him. I know he doesn't want to let me go, and I know I have to but right now I need this. I've missed him with everything in me, I can't fight it. He pushes me against the wall and takes off both of my shoes, and my jacket while I'm still strapped around him. I untangle my fingers form his hair and attempt to unbutton his shirt. I never was good at this thought and I can't wait to just touch him so I pry the shirt open with my hands and buttons go flying everywhere. We both stop kissing and stare down at his shirt, before we look back at each other and start to kiss again. The kiss is passionate filled with lust, need, want. I break off the kiss and start to kiss his neck and run my fingers all over his chest hair. "You are the only thing that kept me alive. You and this moment right here, where I get to show you just how much I've missed you." I can hear a growl escape his mouth as he places me on the floor and turns me around. My stomach is now pressed against the wall, and I can feel his pressure pinning me against it. He starts to leave soft kisses down my neck to my shoulders. "Anastasia Rose Steele. I. Love. You. So. Much. I. Want. You." With that I can hear a rip and can feel a cool breeze caress my back. Did he really just rip my dress? He's as rough as I can remember. I can feel his hands trailing down my hips and hook in my panties. But all I can think about is his wife. I am not a home wrecker; I will not be the other woman. I place my hands on top of his stopping him in his tracks. " . ." I turn around to face him and the remainder of my dress falls off leaving my boobs exposed. I can see him eyeing my body up and down and breathing deeply to stop himself. He has seen it all before so at this point I can care less. I grab hold of his waist and pull him towards me as I lay my forehead against his chest and inhale. I can feel tears fall down my face again, and landing on his chest. I kiss his each of his scars and finally muster up the strength to look him in the eyes and once again place either of my hands on the side of his face. "You are a wonderful, strong man, who has a strong woman at home, a woman who loves you Christian. I….. I….. Love you so much." I start to kiss him on his forehead down to his nose, and stop at his lips. "But like I said before. You have a wife." I rub my thumb across his bottom lip and stare intently in his eyes until I go to the couch to put on my boots and take his jacket and mines. "I think I'll hold on to this, seeing as you ripped my dress." I smile at him and he just looks like my lost little boy. After I place on his jacket, I go grab the back of his head, and hug him hard. This is it. "You will always be my fifty shades." I whisper in his ear and smile before leaving his office.


	4. Chapter 4

I just left him, I actually ended it. Those mother fuckers that took me from him ruin my life. As I'm in my car I start to sob uncontrollably as rain pours down on my window hard. I love him, leaving him makes my heart hurt, I have a constant knot stuck in my throat, I feel lifeless. I feel stuck. What do I do, where do I go? I can't stay with Kate any longer I have no job, Christian has a wife, I have no one. I know before I can go anywhere there is one thing I have to do. Quickly I give Kate a text.

What's Rosalie's number?

555-2125, what do you need it for?

I ignore the question and quickly call the number. I must meet her, thank her. Christian is still working so hopefully I can have some time to know her alone. On the fifth ring there is an answer.

"Hello?" I smile at the sound of her innocent voice. She sounds just like me, she is good for him.

"Hello yes is this Rosalie? This Is Anastasia Steel." I can hear her gasp, and the line goes silent.

"Anastasia yes it is me. I'm assuming you would like to meet me up? Perhaps Escala?" I regret this already. Three years ago I was inviting people to Escala; I was in his bed making love to him, loving him. But I need to do this, it's the least I can do.

"Yes um that will be fine, I'll see you then." I hang up the phone and lay my head on my wheel. Can the day get any more worse? This is defiantly my worst night mare ever. I lost the love of my life to a woman who I can't even be mad at because she saved his life. No one is to blame here, except the terrorists at 911. Curse that fucking day! Slowly I press the ignition button and head off to Escala, to thank a woman who I wish to pound in the face.

As I get on the Elevator I see the code to the penthouse is still the same. The elevator takes off and I lean my back against the wall and close my eyes remembering the moments me and Christian had in here. I remember the touch the feel the memory that will always be treasured in my heart. A tear falls from my face and I quickly wipe it away as the doors open and I walk into the hall. I take a deep breath, there is just so much history here, I need to remain calm and compose myself. I knock on the door, and am greeted by who I can tell in Rosalie. Her hair picked up in a slinky bun, Christian's shirt on her and black leggings covering her bottom. Her features are beautiful, strong, and stern. She looks so relaxed and it pains me to see that shirt on her. I am imagining myself ripping it off her body and punching the shit out of her but quickly stop my thought. The more I think about it the more I can feel myself leaning in to actually do it. She smiles a full teeth smile, and I smile back.

"Ana hey, come on in." Ana? Who the fuck does she think she is? But as I see her smile it is really hard to be upset with her, she looks so nice. I enter and see that it has changed. No longer is the place filled with greys and whites and blacks. It looks homier now. The place is filled with browns beige and orange. I see that the lights are dimmed and she has a scented candle lighted. It smells so good like cinnamon, or rain. She has "Adia," by Sarah Mclahan playing low on the speakers. I step in more and on the wall can see some pictures of them together. I can feel my breathing coming shorter, I want to cry. I can hear the echo of her feet coming towards me as she heads to the kitchen.

"Wine?" She asks as she opens the fridge.

"Yes please. The place looks beautiful." I smile and take in her appearance once more. She is bare foot with her nails painted a coral color, perfect for the summer. She has a braided bracelet on her left wrist that looks homemade. As I look further down I can see her rings. A beautiful big but simple diamond rings is placed on her finger along with a simple band under it. I bite my lip to keep from crying. This is torture, that's what it is. I'm putting myself through all this bull shit for what. I don't need to thank her, when this is how I feel when I'm doing it. I want to just go somewhere far away from all the drama, it's killing me.

She ushers me to the couch as she places the wine glasses filled with white wine on the table and she takes the throw on the couch to cover herself with.

"So Anastasia, I'm so sorry about what happened, how are you doing?" She has her legs curled on the couch with one hand on her thigh and the other holding the glass. I can't begin to even imagine where her and Christian had sex at, I's literally rather eat nails.

"Thank you. Things have been really tough; especially with everyone thinking I was dead my life is changed forever because of those three years. But Rosalie that's not what I came here to talk about."

She smiles sadly and places her glass back down.

"You want to talk about Christian I know." This is it Ana come one now or never.

"Yes Rosalie. I wanted to thank you, thank you for saving him. I know when he heard of my death he was on the brink of death hadn't it not been for you. Although it pains me that we can't be together anymore and he is with someone else, I can't really blame you or him for that matter. I can only blame the people who held me hostage and broke us apart. You are the reason he is still alive and I am so grateful for that."

She looks up at me through her lashes surprised. Was she expecting me to lash out? I mean I have no reason to. I lay my hand over hers and smile sincerely she really did help him no matter my feelings towards their relationship in particular, as a single person she is really kind.

"I'm so glad to hear you say that. I've been feeling really guilty ever since I heard I was expecting you to lash out on me, or hate me. But what you just did I didn't expect it. It was o problem helping Christian I love him he is a wonderful man." Another mind reader? But using the love word really stung my heart; I did my part and said what I needed to say I think it's time to go.

"I really have to go Rosalie. Nice meeting you." I see her stand but I can't be here any longer. I dash out and run down the stairs, but I don't make it down two flights before I'm down on my knees balling. I can't hold it in, it was all so overwhelming, and it was too much. Seeing her with his shirt, in his home, saying he loved him. I couldn't do it; I don't know how I lasted. Suddenly my breaths are quick and breathy. I'm being pathetic right now, I need a drink asap.

Heading back out I take the car to a club called Aspect. I head in the music blazing furiously loud. I can feel the vibrations of the beat under me. I haven't been in a club in so long. Those fucking men, I wish I would have had the pleasure of killing them myself, making them go through hell. I squish through the people as a very old throw back song comes up. Mario Winans "I don't wanna know." I nod my head to the music; this defiantly is not a club song maybe its throwback day. Heading to the bar I order Bacardi I need something strong. I want a drink to burn my throat, I want it to be so strong and make me forget everything. I slip my head back and welcome the taste of the drink as it slip down my throat. I can see a figure appear next to me and I glance quickly at the man and just continue to sip my drink.

"You look bad." Really well thanks for stating the fucking obvious.

"Well thanks; it's every girls dream to have a hot guy to tell her that." I say in a sarcastic and bitchy tone. I can hear him laughing and shaking his head.

"You think I'm hot?" Really you caught that out of everything I just said? That wasn't the point of my message. I glance at him quickly and check him up and down.

"You're alright." I turn my attention back to my drink and turn the cup in a circular motion.

"You're not so bad yourself." Is smirk a bit as I stare in front of me and bob my head to the music.

"Oh I am here I thought I looked bad, if I remember correctly those were your words not even a minute ago." I slip the rest of my drink down my throat and slam the cup on the desk. I close my eyes at the burn of my throat. At least the effect is strong. I twirl my desk to his attention and smirk.

"So what do you want? You want a booty call, one night stand?" I'm really just getting to the point there's an obvious reason why he is just standing there putting up with me. He drops his head back laughing. I can't help but roll my eyes and smirk.

"I was thinking something more along the lines of dancing." He holds his hand out for me and I take it. What the hell if he put up with bitchy Ana he deserves a dance. I take his hand and lead him to the dance floor while swinging my hips and closing my eyes to the music. The effect defiantly kicked it. I turn and grind on him. My ass flexing on him, rubbing up and down while holding his neck with my hands. I can feel the hard on he has building up, wow men are easy I smile and keep dancing. I turn around and continue my seductive dancing. I might as well have fun with the shitty night I'm having. I grasp his lip in my teeth and pull until he grabs hold of me and starts to kiss me fiercely. The drink mixed with my horniness made the kiss way better than it was. I was just about ready to jump any man, since the man I really wanted to devour had a wife. Quickly I pull back and whisper to him.

"How about that booty call now?" He smirks and grabs my hand leading me out the club. On my way out I'm suddenly distracted by the pair of eye's boring into me. I turn to find Christian, faced set in a grim line. He is dead serious; I can see death in his eyes. I know he won't touch me but as for my little "friend," I'm not so sure. He starts to push through people to get to me. And here is more drama to add onto my life, great. Just perfect.

* * *

I dont know about you guys but in the scene where Ana met Rosaie I was kinda routin for Rosalie for a second? Tell me you guys didnt like the way i described her, i did. I really was forgetting ana and christian in that scene. Comments please.


	5. Chapter 5

**Keep in mind all of these songs. With or without you by U2, Come away with me by Norah Jones, By your side by Sade, She will be lived by Maroon five, Kiss me by none the richer, Everywhere I go by Amy grant, Arms by Christiana Perry, and lastly Wicked games by Chris issak. PLEASE SEARCH THEM AND LISTEN TO THEM! It would make the story way better. As for Anastasia I always pictured model Miranda kerr, But now I'm more fond of Adriana lima she is really more beautiful. Check out her spain vouge cover. What do you guys think? Christian is always Ian somerhalder in my mind. The other people are not him. You guys are picking gay guys, blonde haired guys, guys with weird voice. Ian acts like christian watch TVD on Thursdays. As for rosalie search up "Helena Christianson in wicked games." She is beautiful, however now she is really old. Search it up tell me what you guys think. Agree or not?**

* * *

**EARLYER THAT DAY CHRISTIAN GOES HOME AFTER ANA AND ROSALIE HAVE MET-**

Anastasia it never fails for her to leave me with a raging hard on. I can't believe she is gone. For good. She must know I'm going to do everything in my fucking mind to find her, no matter what. I can't lose her not again, not when I have a chance to get her back this time.

As I enter Escala I see my wife cooking in the kitchen. Fuck, why do I keep forgetting about her? Ever since Anastasia came back, it's like I completely forgot about the fact that I am now married. What am I goanna do about them? I put my briefcase down and hold my wife from the back and just inhale her scent.

She smells of strawberries and cream. Her smell is intoxicating; it consoles me after a long day. She holds my arms and smoothly turns herself around as she grabs hold of my shirt, pulling me down to her and kisses me softly. I can taste the whine on her tongue as she eases it in to my mouth. As I start to suck it she makes a purr like sound that tightens my groin for the second time today. She pulls and burys her face in my chest inhaling.

"I love you so much Christian." I inhale deeply and kiss the top of her head.

"I love you too Ana." I can feel her tense up and my eyes shot open.

Did I just fucking call her Ana? Am I fucking insane? Her face jolts up and she pushes me away. I can see the water pooling in her eyes, fogging her vision. All I can do is stare wide eyed, as she holds on the counter behind her for support and holds her chest. She closes her eyes and tears falls down. While her eyes are still close she breathes deeply and her grip on the counter tightens.

"Did you just call me Ana?" Her eyes now flutter open. I can see how she wishes she was just hearing things. I can't oblige thought. I'm stock still, and blinking trying to find a way to assure her she was hearing it, but I can't.

She nods her head slowly and looks to her feat as she passes her hand to smooth the flyaways. I can see her breathing start to turn erratic as she looks up and rushes past me straight to the door.

"Rosalie!" I yell and start to panic. What the fuck did you do Grey? As if one woman isn't enough to lose tonight I just had to mess up another fucking relationship. Today has not been my day, let alone week. I quickly grab my keys and head down to the garage. Surly I'm goanna have to go crazy looking for her. Why do woman always find the need to run away and leave the men worrying senseless?

As the floor reaches the garage I see that none of my cars are missing and I there is no sign of Rosalie. Great so now she is on foot and ten a clock at night, and she has no coat? Is she trying to kill me, why do I always pick the girls who could give to fucks about their safety?

I get into the SUV and ease of the garage. I head down the street but see no sign of her. I've been close behind her how the fuck did she get farther than a block away? I squint my eyes as I try and search for her. As I turn the corner I can see her walking by the street lights. She is literally fucking speed walking, god dammit she is fast.

I head towards her and am now going at the speed of 2 miles per hour. I lower down the window and see that she is staring straight ahead ignoring me.

"Baby please talks to me." I shift my gaze to her and in front of me. This is a fucking deserted one way street, ending with a dead end. She really doesn't care about her safety.

"You know I will follow you all night if I have to."

"Well then I hope you go flying into the dead end gate, and hopefully there is a cliff." I chuckle, and roll my head back. My woman and there smart mouths.

"Rosalie if it takes going off the cliff for you to talk to me, I will do it." A strong breeze goes by and I see her shiver.

"Oh he remembers my name now? What a shock?" Dam I really fucked up. Its goanna take a lot to fix this mess. Why Grey do you screw up everything in your life.

"Babe I didn't mean it. I just… I saw Ana today." This grabs her attention and she averts her focus to me.

"Well that makes two of us. Did you know she came to see me too, but did I say I love you Ana? No. I see people every day of my life, but I never mistaken there name for you ever." Her eyes are wide and filled with hurt. She is hugging herself and trying to rub the goose bumps that are appearing over her skin.

"It's freezing out here; please can you just get in, and let's go home?" She shakes her head and continues to walk.

Exasperated I turn on the radio and here the song, "Everywhere I go, by Amy Grant," Come on. I turn it up louder and see her eyes grow wider and she comes to a stop. She is still facing in front of her but I can see tears rolling down her face.

"Remember this? Our wedding song," Inspiration comes to me as I get out of the car and sing to her, "I was wasting time. Oh so sure to find somebody who'd never go, how could I know. None I'd found was true, none could be but you the only, one love divine, my heart my mind are yours. Everywhere I go, I see your face through the crowd. Everywhere I go, I hear your voice clear and loud. Everywhere I go, you are the light that I see. Everywhere I go you have found me."

I stop at a halt in front of her as she stares ahead of her. She shakes her head and turns to me as more tears flood down her face.

"No. No Christian, don't do that. Don't try to guilt me, because what you did was wrong. You know how hard it has been for me to know that a woman that you have never stopped loving is back in your life? To know that I only got you by default, and now that she is back you can easily go back to her? It's killing me knowing that I'm not good enough, I was only a rebound, I fell in love with you and I can't find the heart to let you go."

Shit. I don't know what to say. Every day is harder to choose, I try doing the right thing but I can't get Anastasia out of my mind. She is alluring, her touch is lethal, it's fucking mission impossible to forget her. But I don't know what to do about Rosalie, my wife. I owe both of them everything and this situation is fucking hard.

I take her in my hold and hold her tight. But she pushes me off quickly and jumps back.

"No, don't touch me," She starts to wipe away the tears and shakes her head, "No tell me what happened with you and Ana Christian, tell me I have nothing to worry about if you want me to get in that car, and forget everything that happened."

SHIT! Why is my life so fucking complicated? What am I supposed to do? I can't lie to her; it will just hurt her more.

"She… I… I can't tell you that Rosalie."

She hugs herself once more and turns to look to the side of her.

"I'm going to a motel for the night, don't bother calling me Christian." She's not even looking at me, dam I fucked up.

She glances at me once and steps away. I watch her baffled until she pulls out a phone and calls someone. After a couple of minutes I see a cab approach and she steps in.

My feet are still planted and it takes me a while to recover from what just happened. Ana's gone, Rosalie just left to, and it's just me. I know for fucking sure I'm not heading home right now I need a drink, and a maybe some more to forget all this shit.

**THE PRESENT ANA"S POV-**

As Christian starts to approach me I start to panic. Fuck me! I have to think on my feet, like quickly. Umm, I can say he's my cousin or a friend. Yea that will work. **REALLY A FUCKING FRIEND OR COUSIN THAT YOU WERE KISSING AND GRINDING ON. WHAT KIND OF REALTIONSHIPS DO YOU HAVE?**

Fuck she is right. Come Ana he is coming towards you and he looks just about ready to kill everyone.

"Umm listen I really have to go, I'll call you thought." I smile quickly and touch his shoulder before dashing off. Shit shit what do I do? Really I'll call you? I don't even have the guys number, let alone his name. My luck with men is not so good lately. Hopefully Christian will follow me, and I can do one good thing and save that man an ass whooping.

I leave the loud noise and can see a hall and an exit sign. After what just happened, I definitely do not want to stay here, maybe I should just head home now. I got drunk, but it didn't make me forget anything now. Now I'm just sobered up and running out of the club into the pouring rain.

Seeing Christian again was too much. All of events from today was put all behind me and buried until I saw him again. My tears start coming down mixing with the loud rain and I just start to walk. I have no destination, and I can't go to get my keys or coat because I left them in the club.

The night is clear except for the heavy rain. There are a minimum amount of street lights on and no one is out here. There are just long trees on either side of the road, and darkness filling between them.

"ANASTASIA!" Who the hell is calling me? I turn to see Christian running towards me his cloths soaked, and his hair stuck to his face. Fuck he is getting close. I turn and start to walk forward pushing my hair out of my face.

"ANASTASIA WAIT!" I can hear him closer I know soon he will just keep following me, so I stop and turn.

"Christian, what do you want. I told you I'm leaving!" We are both yelling over the loud rain. Both soaked with rain falling over our faces.

"NO! Don't go Ana; I don't want to lose you." He is known in front of me, looking so hot and breathing hard.

"Christian we went over this. You have a wife, she is better for you."

"Don't give me that bullshit! Why can't you just accept that we belong together? I love you Ana, I need you." Because of the rain he can't see my tears streaming down my face. I can't take this.

I turn and continue to walk my mouth set in a grim line. I notice he is still standing where he was before, but I can't be around him, it's killing me.

"Why are you fighting it? Because it's the right thing to do? Well guess what Ana it's not. We are supposed to be together and we are just hurting not only ourselves but the people around us because we can't hide our love Ana and we shouldn't fucking have to."

I stop and leave my back facing him.

"Christian you have a wife. I can't put her through that pain."

"PAIN? You won't put her through the pain, but you're going to just gladly endure it yourself? What about me Ana? It's eating me alive knowing that your alive and that you're not mine. Every fucking day for the last three years was hell for me. I couldn't eat, sleep, and think. I couldn't function; I would rather die without you. That's what you do to me Ana, you make me go crazy. But ever since you were back all the pain and suffering is gone, I don't need to go through that any more when I can have you again. Don't you get in Ana, you're the cure. You're the death of me. Your absence is like a cancer, venom, going through my body making me weak, and you're the one person who could make that all disappear."

My heart is yearning for him even more now. His voice is making me crumble. I whip my body around and face him. We are now about two feet apart.

"Why? Why do you still love me? Why couldn't you just forget me?"

He looks at me like I'm stupid, like if the answer is obvious.

"Why? Anastasia how could I not love you? You're unforgettable. Your giggle, your touch your smell. Your ability to love, and care for everyone. The way your brow arches when you challenge me. The way you looked past all my shit, and made me feel normal. You made me feel worthy of love, you didn't care about my money you treated me like any one else, and changed me. What about the fact that I've only ever gave these embarrassing speeches to you, I've only done these spontaneous things for you, to make you realize how much I love you. To make you look pass your insecurities. Or that I've had so many first with you, I've done the stupidest things ever just to hear you laugh, and to see you smile. I know I love you because of the fact that you are only about two feet away and I already miss you, I just want you in my arms. Or the fact that we are going to get Phenomena standing out in this rain, but if you need to know why I love you I'll do it every dam day for the rest of my life."

My heart is breaking with every word, and step he takes as he walks right in front of me. I've missed him so much, my soul mate. I love him more than life itself, when we are apart it's like a disease. I need to be with him.

"You did well enough." I smirk and jump on him as we divulge in to a kiss filled with longing, and need. We put all of our sorrows and hurt in to this kiss.

My legs are around him my back is arched as his arms wrap around me. My hands are on his neck, with the tips of my fingers sprawled in his hair. I kiss him with all my might, as we console each other. We break the kiss and look up as we hear thunder. As we look back at each other, I can feel the love radiating off of him and me as well, creating are bubble that has been alien to us for a while now.

"Can you feel it?" I say regarding the tingly sensation that is there once again stronger than ever, bringing my body alive.

"Yes baby, I've always and only felt it around you." I smile and lay my lips on his forehead.

"I'm still only yours Christian; I want you to know that." I can hear his shock breath and he looks up and stares into my eyes.

"You mean….. You haven't.. Since… It's been three years?"

I nod my head and stare in his eyes.

"I have been taken hostage, and they wouldn't let their men touch me. I've been back for only a week and the only man I want to have sex with has a wife."

As I say her name I feel even more guilty, she won't just go away and fade into thin air, we need to talk about her.

"But that guy today, you were goanna have sex with him weren't you?" He looks hurt as he says each word.

"Yes I was."

He closes his eyes and I can see he is trying to process information.

"Ana, I…. Me and Rosalie…. We've had sex."

I knew they were intimate but to hear him say it hurts even more. I lay my finger on his lip to silence him.

"Christian you thought I was dead. I didn't expect you to become celibate. You have needs, I rather that than you being dead. I forgive you its okay. None of this was our fault."

He places his head between my cleavage and inhales deeply. I can feel his body shudder and can tell he is crying.

"You don't know how it feels to see you, touch you. My life has no meaning without you Ana; I wish we weren't deprived of all that time. Please let me take you home, let us make up for lost time Ana."

I place my lips on his hair kissing the top of his head while my hands are still around his neck. We are still in the middle of the road, being rained on, while he has me around his waist.

"Yes. I want you to make love to me Christian."

* * *

After a long session of making love me and Christian lie naked on his bed his face buried in my neck.

"I never want us to be apart again Ana. I need you; I need you to be with me forever."

I continue to rub circles around his back, as he kisses my neck, and inhales my sent.

"Never again. I'll never leave you baby, unless of course I get abducted again."

I giggle lightly, as he lifts his face from my neck and stares in my eyes.

"I've missed that sound so much. It's like music to my ears."

He kisses me and whispers in my ear.

"But don't make jokes like that Ana. I'll do everything in my fucking power to make sure nothing ever happens like that Ana, it will kill me."

"Nothing will happen. I'm your forever; this is where I want to be Christian. Here with you forever."

As he places kisses around my neck, and in my ear he starts to talk.

"And this is where you belong. With me, forever and always Ana. But there is just one thing stopping us."

He stares into my eyes once more, and he flips me on top of him. I start to run my finger through his chest hair, and kissing his scars.

"Yea and what is that Mr. Grey?"

I can see his smile light up and the sound of me saying his name like that. I can see how much he missed me; I've never felt more loved.

"Marry me?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry about the lack of writing. I've been lazy, and i hope to get one in by tommorow. Thanks for the support, until next time...**

* * *

"What? Marry you?"

As the words escaped her words she saw everything in a new light. She was in there bed, in their house, sleeping with a woman's husband. I'm a home wrecker, and now he wants to marry me, when he is married himself?

I wrapped the sheet around myself and sat up. I pivoted my body to face him as I contemplated everything in my mind.

"Christian marry you? You are married with someone already. Oh my gosh what are we doing. Christian what about Rosalie? Where is she anyway? Oh my god I can't believe we just did that and in her home, in you guys bed."

I can't believe I just did that. I'm a hypocrite. I talk all this shit about how it's wrong for men to do cheat, and I just did it myself. I start to place my bra and shirt on followed by my jeans.

"Anastasia what are you talking about? I love you I can't lose you not again. This was never really our home; it belonged to you and me. Baby don't do this."

I glance at Christian and shake my head. God I'm a Whore. I place each of my shoes on, and glance at the clock. 3:30. Great I guess it's back to the club, to drink. He needs to fix his situation with Rosalie first like are real man, because she deserves an explanation.

"Christian before anything can actually happen you need to go and talk to her. Because I highly doubt that you were shunning here before this. My guess is you two were still kissing and sleeping in the same bed. She doesn't deserve this, so you need to sort things out with her."

"Oh and where the fuck are you goanna go Ana? Don't you fucking get that if you never died I would of eventually married you anyway? So it doesn't make a difference if I talk to her anyway. Why did you even sleep with me if you are just goanna run off again?"

"Christian I was acting on impulse. I don't regret what happened today but there's still the big elephant In the room that needs to be dealt with. You have to get a divorce In order for us to attempt to be married."

"I get that Ana okay I do, but why the fuck are you leaving? It's three in the fucking morning where are you going?"

"I don't know Christian. I can't stay here this is where she sleeps, I feel dirty. I thought I'd go get a drink and clear my head."

"A drink you mean where you almost fucked that man, what will stop you from doing that again? I don't feel comfortable with that. You're not going Ana."

"Really that's a low blow. I thought things were over between us okay. It's not like you were didn't have no sexual contact at all when I came back. And after what happened with us that is what will stop me from sleeping with another guy Christian. How the fuck can you think like that. How about I go and you call up you wife and talk to her because you guys have a lot to talk about especially if you need to sort things out."

"Fine just fucking go then It's not like your goanna listen to me anyway. I don't understand your infatuation with disobeying me especially when you fucking now about my need for control. You're so fucking frustrating!"

"Fine I will go then."

"Fine Ana."

I place my jacket on and walk out the door making sure to slam loudly. Why is everything an argument? We just made love it was wonderful but I can't feel good about it knowing a woman who did nothing wrong at all gets hurt.

I head outside and can see it is still raining. I call a cab and let the little drops fall on me. I need to refresh myself, and the rain is helping me feel calm and carefree. I'm young dammit why do I need to deal with such shit?

The cab pulls up and I enter. The song "Breathe me by Sia," Is playing lowly in the cab.

"Can you put it louder please?" The lady looks at me a smiles before turning it up. I can see she can tell I've been having a shitty day.

Help I have done it again. I have been here many times before. Hurt myself again today. And the worst part is there's no one else to blame. Be my friend, hold me, wrap me up. Unfold me. I am small. I'm needy, warm me up, and breathe me.

I let the lyrics sink in my brain and let the tears flow. I've done it again ruined us, but I cant help the fact that I feel bad for Rosalie no matter the strong desire I have to be with Christian.

Ouch I have lost myself again. Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found. Yeah I think I might break, lost myself again and I feel unsafe. Be my friend hold me, wrap me up, unfold me, I am small. I'm needy warm me up, and breathe me.

I can feel a strong connection with the song as it plays. Over the last three years I have lost myself. I'm a different person, I'm hurting. I need Christian to fix this for me; I need his touch, but so does Rosalie. It hurts me to just pass my pain on to her. Christian is easy to love so I can only imagine much she loves him. I can imagine how hurt she will be to know that this is how she gets repaid for helping and loving him. And I'm the cause of it.

I quickly get out of the car and enter the club and am immediately hit with the loud lyrics blasting in my ear.

I go straight to the bar and take three shouts of whiskey. There now I feel somewhat better. I head to the dance floor feeling high on the whiskey. I feel light and loopy as I close my eyes and roll my head back dancing to the music. As I open my eyes I can see a man dancing towards me. White button down shirt, first three buttons open. Dark jeans, dark ruffled hair, crystal blue eyes.

His look is darkening and determined, as he comes and starts to dance with me. We start dancing as the music fills us making us live in the moment.

_**I feel so close to you right now it's like a force field**_.

_**I wear my heart upon my sleeve like a big deal**_.

I continue to close my eyes and dance. I feel the whiskey start to kick in and it feels so good. I open my eyes and start to smile at how drunk I am. The man is just watching me and he takes my hands in his and pulls my arms to wrap around his head, while he runs his hands down my face with his lips slightly parted. I just keep smiling and dancing loosely.

_**Your love bows down on me surrounds me like a waterfall.**_

**_And there's no stopping us right now, I feel so close to you right now. (Beat)_**

We continue to sway as his hands roam down my body and I just smile, and let my body go. It feels good to have a normal day and act my own age. I caress my hands on his cheek as I let it slide from his cheek to his neck. I lean in and kiss him tasting the lime, and the strongness of his drink.

After the kiss I lean back to look at him and can see his eyes are still watching me intently and his look is even more darkening. Is smile and lick my lips as I continue to dance with my eyes closed reveling in the moment.

**_I feel so close to you right now it's like a force field_**.

**_I wear my heart upon my sleeve like a big deal._**

_**And there's no stopping us right now I feel so close to you right now.(Beat)**_

He rolls his head back as I kiss his neck and roll my tongue from his neck and back to his mouth to engulf him in a kiss. He quickly wraps my legs around him and we start kissing even more.

The club has its lights off, and there's only a faint strobe light, and other colorful glowing sticks that other people have. My mind is Christian free, and all my desire is into this one guy.

The next song comes on and it makes me feel even better than the last one.

**_I hear your heart beat to the beat o the drums._**

**_Oh what a shame that you came here with someone._**

**_So while you're here in my arms, let's make the most of the night like we're goanna die young._**

He starts to walk slowly into a closet, and trails kisses down my neck as I roll my head back with desire.

CHRISTIANS POV

I stop in front of Rosalie's hotel room and open the door. I felt the conversation needed to be a face to face one; hopefully that's fucking enough remorse for Ana.

"Why are you here Christian?" Rosalie opens the door in her black lace bra and panties with her hair wet. I can tell she just came out of the shower.

"I want to get a divorce Rosalie."

Fuck that felt like a fucking load lifted off my back. I might as well just rip the band-aid off right? But as I see her face she doesn't look sad just like she knew it would happen.

"It's Ana, isn't it?"

I look intently at her and there's no need to bull shit her.

"Yes. I love you Rosalie but it will always be Ana. I just didn't think I would need to hurt you anymore."

She nods her head and her eyes turn a little dark as she finishes clasping her bra on, and walks to me.

"So that's the good bye I get? Shouldn't we make it a little more memorable than that?"

I can hear the music coming from her speakers, speaking words to me.

**_I feel so close to you right now it's like a force field._**

**_I wear my heart upon my sleeve like a big deal._**

**_Your love bows down on me surrounds me like a waterfall._**

**_And there's no stopping us right now, I feel so close to you're right now. (Beat)_**

"If you love me than surly you can find it in your heart to give me one last kiss goodbye?"

With the bourbon I drank after Anastasia left, and the amount of clothing covering her I grab her face and start to kiss her.

I lift her and place her on the counter in her hotel room and I kiss her neck and she moans with desire.

Anastasia's POV

I can still hear the music even In the closet, and it gives me a boost of energy. He continues to kiss me and trace my figure with his hands.

**_Wild Childs looking good, living life just like we should._**

**_Don't Care who's watching when were tearing it up._**

**_The magic that we got no body can touch._**

I can hear him unzip himself, and his intense blue eyes look at me with such lust, that at this point all I can do is nod. As his tip enters me all I can do is cry out.

**_Looking for some trouble tonight._**

**_Take my hand I'll show you the wild side._**

**_Like it's the last night of our lives, we'll keep dancing till we die_**.

Christian's POV

My hands roam her body, and unclasp her bra as I show attention to her breasts. I start to kiss and suck on them making her back arch and her moan.

Slowly I unzip my bra and stare into her blue eyes, as her lips are parted and her head lifts up to stare at me. She nods, and I enter the head of my penis in her entrance.

**_I feel so close to you right now it's a force field._**

She starts to moan as I pick up the pace and suck her neck.

I wear my heart upon my sleeve like it's a big deal.

Anastasia's POV

He picks up pace as I moan loudly, grabbing on to the walls behind me.

**_I hear your heart beat to the beat of the drums,_**

**_Oh what a shame that you came here with someone._**

I grab his back and scratch as I feel myself coming close.

Christians POV

Rosalie grabs hold of the counter and rolls her head back as she moans. I pick up the paste and kiss her breast and stomach.

_**Your love bows down on me surrounds me like a waterfall.**_

She lifts her head and grabs my face staring at me intently as she gets higher to her peak. Her lips are parted and she is letting out moans that harmonize with my growls.

_**And there's no stopping us right now, I feel so close to you right now.**_

She screams out in ecstasy as her orgasm takes over her, and my head rolls back as mine takes over me as well.

Anastasia's POV

I get closer and let him kiss my cleavage as we reach higher.

_**So while you're here in my arms, let's make the most of the night like were goanna die young.**_

I bite down on his ear, as I yell in pleasure, as we both hit our climax.

I lean back against the wall, and smile with my eye's close. The beautiful man lays his head on my chest, and I grab a hold of his hair, and sway to the music.

_**Let's make the most of the night like were goanna die young.**_

* * *

The song I feel so close to you by Calvin harris is from The vampire diaries. Episode four season four. I mean can you guys blame me though? That scene between damon and elena was fucking hot! You want to see it? Type this in youtube :The Vampire Diaries 4x04, Damon and Elena dancing scene, Calvin Harris - Feel So Close.

For those of you who saw it, i mean dont you guys agree.

As for the other song it is Kesha die young.

Okay now i know this chapter took a completly diffrent turn than what you guys thought but thats the point, to suprise you guys, and shock you guys with new twists. No need to worry, i always have C and A reunite , i just love them. :) Until next time.


	7. Chapter 7

I know that i may take a while to write a chapter but i like to hear what you guys think i should do for the next chapter, and what you think i shouldnt do an di like to use it. Not to mention i am thirteen, in the ninth grade and i am very busy social wise. I hope you guys like this chapter, again another twist i hope you are suprised. Until next time...

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I bolt upright from my bed, and immediately regret it. I have a major hangover; my brain feels like it's trying to escape from my head. I replay last night's events in my head, and can't believe what I did. What the fuck is wrong with me? He specifically warns me about sleeping with someone else, and I tell him all this bullshit and go and sleep with someone anyway. What was that guy's name anyway? Was it brad, Brandon, no wait it was…? Br...Br... Bret? Did it even start with a b? Did he even tell me his name? Oh god I'm a slut.

I lay my head back down and cover my hands with my face while pouting. Suddenly I notice that I don't even remember coming home last night. Oh my god, where am I? I think I remember calling Kate, if I'm correct.

I turn to the right and there laying next to me is the guy from last night. Oh my god, oh my god, I'm dead. Christian is never going to speak to me ever, let alone give me another chance! What the fuck Ana, really?

I sit up, and notice my lack of clothing. I pull the sheet to cover up my chest more, and bang my head against the head board. Shit, shit, shit. My head is closed and I'm mentally reminding myself to never drink ever again. I just fucked up my whole life, when it could have all been avoided.

I peek at the guy next to me and he is as beautiful as I remember. Fuck, now I feel even guiltier that he is good looking and not some ugly nerd. His eyes are closed, and his glorious chest is moving up and down. I also notice his lack of clothing, and bang my head some more.

Christian my beautiful Christian, the love of my life, will hate me. He asked me to marry him, and I just had to ruin everything. Why the fuck am I such a idiot? I could have wakened up in his arms, we would have had some morning sex, and everything will be back to normal. Why the hell did I ruin it? MAYBE BECAUSE HE IS TAKEN! There you go his wife. She was a big deal, not just a minor setback.

My thoughts are interrupted by the icy blue eyes fluttering open. I take the pillow and hit him in the face with it.

"Ouch! I see someone isn't too happy this morning." He says as he lifts himself up on his elbows.

"Umm maybe because we had sex last night, and I don't even know your name, not to mention it was in a coat closet!"

He smirks and places the pillow I hit him with under his head.

"And what mind-blowing sex it was. Don't be ashamed, it was definitely A plus."

"Great but I really don't want a fucking grade from you. I'm ashamed already of my actions last night. I don't need to be reminded that it was good."

"Well what's there to be ashamed of? We had a good time, there's no harm in that."

"Well maybe the fact that I'm with someone, someone I love more than life itself and I just threw it all away for a one night stand!"

"Well then let's not make it a one night," He leans in closer, "it doesn't have to stop there."

I hit him with a pillow again and push him off the bed.

"Yea sure that's just what I need to make me feel even guiltier."

He pokes his head up from the floor, and starts laughing.

"Oh I'm totally goanna fucking get you back for that."

He launches himself on the bed and starts to tickle me. I use my feet to pinch him on his leg hard and that makes him move back.

"Fuck. Are you goanna continuously attack me at seven in the morning?" He smirks and looks wounded.

"Well I mean if it comes to that then…." I shrug my shoulders and he chuckles before getting up.

Completely oblivious to his nakedness he makes his way to the bathroom, and a minute later I hear the shower. I look around the bed for my phone and find it in the corner along with my bra. Oh god this is bad.

I go over and check my messages.

**Hey Steele got your message. You're getting wasted without me, no fair!**

I smile and scroll down to see if I have more messages. None. I wonder why Christian didn't text or call? YOU'RE ONE TO TALK MS ONE NIGHT STAND! YOU DIDN'T BOTHER TO CALL OR TEXT EITHER! I know god, but still why didn't he call especially knowing how overprotective, and stalker like he can be. Again I'm interrupted by the hot man.

He comes out with a towel around his waist, and little beads of water running down his chest. Oh lord. He lets go of his towel and grabs his boxers, to put them on.

"Well please don't mind me, you want to show your junk go ahead." I say sarcastically, to his obvious comfortableness with his body.

"There's nothing to hide, you've seen it all. And I mean can you blame me for showing it off?"

I can't help but giggle and shake my head.

"Still it's very uncomfortable. By the way were you planning on telling me your name? Or what?"

"It's Michael. Michael Cross." He says as he dresses in jeans.

"Oh. So do you know where my clothes are?" I glance around the room and stop to see my Shirt ripped in half. He follows my glance and laughs.

"I'm glad you find it amusing that you didn't have the decency to just take off my shirt. It's not that hard you just lift it over my head." I stand and take my jeans to place them on.

"Sorry but when I'm having sex I don't think about clothes, the only thing that's on my mind is your p." I cover my ears and shut my eyes.

"Okay. Okay I don't need to know."

Again he chuckles, and places on a crisp black shirt. I stare at him expectantly and he notices and looks confused.

"What? Something wrong?"

"Umm yes. What am I supposed to wear? My shirt is torn to shreds, and I'm not going to be shirtless."

"What a sight that will be," he smirks and throws me a shirt from his closet, "Take it I don't have any other clothes here.

I eye it wearily before slipping it on. FUCK! I screwed up big time. I know Christian will go insane. I can't believe I did this to him. Now I'm wearing this guy's shirt, it's as if I'm asking for it. After I'm done putting it on I run my hand through my hair and catch Michael looking at me intently.

"I don't have any more condoms, and your making it ver hard for me right now. Let's go eat breakfast now." I smirk a little.

"Not that I would give you the okay even if you had a million condoms."

"I beg to differ. It happened before, three times if I recall correctly."

I hit him in his back as he stands in the door way with his back facing me. He pouts and acts as if I hurt him.

"Oh Michael. Michael."

I stare at him in disbelief, is he really mimicking what I was saying during sex? Wait I was saying his name, then he did tell me it. Well that makes me feel a little better. I hit him once more and try to hide my giggle.

"What? They were by far the best sounds of my life. It's true; I bet I even dream about them tonight." He winks and I try to look disgusted.

"You're a pig."

"Oh please Ana, you know you'll dream of me too. And it's okay with me if you do; in fact I recommend you do so we can meet up again."

I roll my eyes but don't say anything. At least I'm having some laughs now; I know for sure I won't be laughing later. I start to look around and notice how big and expensive his apartment is. How could I have not notice? It's the same size as Christian's apartment, and filled with blacks and grays.

We enter the kitchen and I sit at the table and watch Michael. He grabs his I-phone, and is staring at it while shrugging on his jacket, and ordering things to a woman I'm assuming is his maid, while staring at his phone. Talk about double tasker.

I get a plate of waffles and bacon placed in front of me, and a seat next to me as well. I see Michael walking toward the table and sit next to me.

"Wanda, please get me an Advil for Anastasia." She nods her head and soon gets an Advil in front of me. I sip it quickly and continue to eat my food.

"So this place is huge. What do you do for a living?"

"I'm a CEO." I choke on my food, and Michael pats my back.

"You okay." He asks.

Yea sure I'm okay. What the fucking chances that he is a CEO. That's a fucking coincidence. God what is about me and CEO's?

"Yes." That's all I manage. If this guy is into BDSM, and has a fucked up past then I'm out.

I laugh at my little joke, and it soon turns into full blown laughter.

"Umm, you okay?"

All of a sudden all my emotions go into my laugh and I let it out. It's now a nervous and fearful laugh of facing Christian. But it feels good to let loose, I know I won't be laughing later. More like crying. My laughter dies down, and I go up and clean my plate.

"You have a really nice ass." Ummm. Okay? Did he really say that?

"Wow blunt are we?"

"There's no need for me to be coy. It's true. Can't wait to get my hands on it again."

"Oh sorry I didn't mention it before? Not goanna happened, ever, under any, and I mean ANY Circumstances." I smile and pat his shoulder.

"I guess we will just have to see than wont we?"

A brown hair older lady comes into the room holding a pad.

"Mr. Cross, um we need to discuss the umm, food , the plans for food."

"You mean the food agenda for the week?"

"Yes, umm okay Monday?"

"Rim fillet." He states coldly his eyes locked on mines.

"Rum Foulut?" His stare breaks with mines, as he gives her the "are you stupid" look.

"RIM – FILLET!"

"RUM- FOULUT?"

"R-I-M, F-I-L-L-E-T!"

"Oh Rem Firet?"

He holds the bridge of his nose and I can't help but burst into laughter at the foreign lady? He stares at me with a smirk on his face and is trying to talk to her without laughing now because of my outburst.

"Who…" He stops as his hidden laughter interferes with his talking, "Who, even hired you?"

"Ummm, you did yesterday senor?"

He turns to me and smirks.

"Well that explains it then doesn't it? I had my mind occupied with something."

He eyes me up and down and I blush. His phone buzzes and he glances at it. Before picking it up he looks at her and says, "You're fired."

* * *

I told Michael to drop me off at a hotel; I need a place to stay for the time being and I can't go and face Kate or Christian right now. Of course he flirted with me the whole way here and gave me his umber. I just laughed and took it.

As I head through the doors of the Fairmont Hotel, I go to the front desk and request a room. Ever since the incident I've been giving money by the government. Quite a lot of money if you ask me, about 25,000 dollars. So I decide to pamper myself and get a good room. Maybe even a spa day for me to ease my mind.

I head up to my room on the 20th floor. As the elevator descends I start to think about everything. Christian, Rosalie. Michael. As much as I feel guilty I had fun. I am very young, too young to deal with all this crap. I'm supposed to be a twenty year old girl; I'm supposed to do things like I did tonight. And meet people like Michael.

He is a really fun guy. But as much as I hate the drama that comes with Christian grey I can't help what I feel for him. I love him, it's simple. And if I have to put up with drama to be with him I will. Not that he will want me after what happened but still.

The elevator stops at my floor and I go to my door. I put my bag down in between my legs, and take my key card. Suddenly the door across from mines opens and I see Christian and Rosalie come out. Rosalie has on a robe, and Christian has on his just fucked hair. I swear I stop breathing when I see them and I can tell that when they see me they do the same. Christian looks scared but when he looks down and see's my shirt, his eyes are filled with fury. Now I know why he didn't call. Looks like it's goanna be a long night.

* * *

What did you think? Comments on Michael? I really like him. Althought i picture Christian as Ian somerhalder, i picture Michael as damon from the vampire diaries. You know he is sarcastic, and flirty, and very blunt about his feelings. Tell me your thoughts, they are always welcome.


	8. Chapter 8

I know it is very,very short but i wasn't planning on writing today. I just felt inspired and thought i'd leave you guys with something to think about. Yes it is a cliffhanger. Comment, suggestions are welcome. Tell me what you guys think. I'd also like to thank all my readers for the support and the nice PM's you guys are sending me. The big ego boosters you guys are giving me. I love them, keep them coming, and thank you for all the help and support.

* * *

My breath gets stuck in my throat, and I'm at loss for words.

"Whose fucking shirt is that Anastasia?" Christian asks stepping farther into the hall.

Oh whose shirt is this? What about where the fuck is his shirt, because it's definitely not on him.

"It's my friend….. My GUY friend. And what about you Christian? Did you forget to put on a shirt, or did it accidently slip off?"

I look at him awaiting an answer and I can see Rosalie looking back at me and him. The tension is thick, and I can feel the anger radiating off us both.

"I could have sworn you were goanna get a DIVORCE? Is this the new way people get a divorce? Have I been missing that long that everything changed drastically? Tell me Christian?"

"You're one to fucking talk Anastasia, whose fucking shirt is it SPECIFICALLY, and why is it on you and not on your so call friend?" He emphasizes the word friend, and walks even closer to me.

I steal a glance at Rosalie, and can see a hint of a smirk on her face. Little bitch. I'm glad she finds everything amusing, because she seems to be the only one.

"Well if you must know everything, it's not on him because .Him." I look him dead in the eye, and then leave and head down the stairwell. I start to sprint, skipping steps, almost falling.

Oh did I say almost? I meant did. I skip five steps, and lose control and fall on my ass. Everything spills out of my purse, and I quickly try to gather them before Christian catches up.

Of course I jinks it and in no time his arms are grasping me from behind and standing me up.

"Get the fuck off of me Christian!" I pull out of his hold, and drop my bag again.

"Don't fucking tell me what to do! Anastasia, you were supposed to be MINE! Why the fuck would you share yourself? I was the only man who has been inside of you, you were fucking mine ALL MINE!"

I slowly walk back, as his anger level rises. He's really scaring me.

"Tell me who the fuck he is right now or I'll go fucking mad and when I find him it won't be fucking pretty Anastasia." He has me trapped against the wall now, and he is breathing heavily.

"Christian. No." I can hear a frustrated growl, before he punches the wall besides my head, and his fist go smashing into it, creating a big hole.

Yes, not a dent but a hole. This is such a turn on, but I'm to mad and slightly scared to be horny right now. He places both of his hands on either side of the wall and closes his eyes as he breathes harshly.

"Did you not think of me? Anastasia did you not know how good it made me feel, that I WAS the only man who had ever explored your body. MY FUCKING BODY."

He grabs my ass with one hand and breaths, "This is Only mine," He places his hands on my breasts and growls, "These are ONLY mine," He traces his hand down to my sex and takes a deep breath, "This is ONLY mine," then finally he takes my chin and release my bottom lip from my teeth's hold, " . .Anastasia."

"What about you. Sleeping with you wife, when you said you wanted to be with me. You were never only mine, but after the day we made love for the first time, .Mine."

I muster up all the courage I have and follow his earlier movements.

I place both of my hand on his ass and squeeze, "This is mine," I trail my fingers down and trace his erections before grabbing a firm hold on it, "This is ONLY mine," I lay both of my hands on his chest and grab hold of his shirt to pull him closer to me so his body is pressed against mine, "You are only Mine."

I lightly brush my lips passed his and kiss his neck.

"I'm the only woman who can touch you. The only woman who can challenge you, and make you go crazy. I'm the only woman for you Christian."

Suddenly everything back fires and I am again pinned to the wall, only this time my back is facing him. He grinds into me, and inhales me deeply.

"I'm the only man for you Anastasia. The only man who can fulfill your needs."

He rails his nose in my neck and savors the smell. He starts to kiss my neck and suckle, sending my body into a paralyzed state. A state that shows I am under his spell.

"You're fucking stubborn, and defiant. You drive me insane Anastasia. Your goanna be the death of me baby."

His hands trace down my stomach and he grabs hold of my sex cupping it and squeezing.

"But this, you, have been explored by another man. Not against your will, but with your fucking permission."

Okay the trance is over. I've been brought back to reality. I turn and grab hold of him.

"And THIS had also been touched. By the hands of another woman."

His eyes are shut tight and his jaw is clenched tightly I can see all his muscles in his cheek. God he's so fucking hot.

"So did this Anastasia." He grips me harder. SO I return the favor back.

" . .Christian." I say slowly keeping my eyes locked on his lips.

"So where does this leave us?" He asks his breathing is almost tangible. I can tell he is trying to control himself just as much as I am.

"It leaves us with a hell of a lot more problems than before. I'll be in my room now Christian."

As I move past him I can hear him grunt, and before he can jump me I run past him and in the door near the stairs. I quickly run and enter the elevator happy to avoid him. We've entered ourselves into a whole other big situation. As I enter my room I hear my phone buzzing, and when I look down at the caller I.D I see it's Michael.


	9. Chapter 9

Okay my readers, i need to know your take on Michael? Frankly because i like him alot. When i right about him and Ana together i feel as if i'm writing another story than when I'm writing about Ana and Christian. I really dont want Christian and Michael to meet because i dont want them to fight and for one of them to loose. I think from the way both charecters are potrayed they will both win, but every fight needs a loser, and i can't have that. Also should i make them have sex again, or just kiss? Do you guys want him in the story, or should i cut him out? Please help my foggy mind. I would love suggestions, and ideas for the fture chapter please.

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Michael? Oh my gosh, this is exactly what I need after that big show with Christian. What if he actually comes in? Knowing Christian that's exactly what he would do. Oh well it serves him right. What a hypocrite giving me all this shit about sleeping with someone when he wasn't out praying to god.

I stop ranting to myself and decide to take my mind off of Christian and pick up the phone.

"Speaking of the devil." I can hear him chuckle, and loud music in the background.

"Speaking of me so soon are we. Go ahead; tell me what you were saying about me?"

I roll my eyes at the audacity of this man. He is something.

"Oh nothing Michael just how I had the sex of my life with you."

"Yea that's what you were saying. Surly it was a solid ten."

"8.5."

"Ouch. It's okay keep denying your undying love for me. I know your just wishing you can find a way back in my pants. No need baby, I am here to put you out of your misery and invite you out with me tonight."

"I rather play in traffic."

"Feisty now are we. I bet I have just the thing that can fix that. It has to do with you, and me, and my little friend in you."

"Full of ourselves are we? Like I said, I rather play in traffic."

"Oh come on you little brooder. What could be so important that you can't come out with me?"

"Let's see. How about spending a day puking my brains out for spending the night sleeping with a sarcastic ass face that is too full of himself, and obviously thinks with his dick."

"Wow, sounds like my kind of friend."

"Yep he is like your twin."

"Obviously not or you would of added smooth, incredibly hot, and great in bed."

"Ha-ha funny Michael, such a comedian."

"I mean I try. So I'll be picking you up at six."

"No Michael. I've had enough shit to deal with all I want to do is soak in a nice hot bath."

"On second thought I think I'll take your option, and help you scrub your back."

"Or, you can forget that we ever met, and just o on with your life."

"And leave you to become depressed and regretting ever letting me go? Sorry, this is for your own good. Now get your fine ass dressed and ready to go. Or I can just come and get you no matter what your wearing and drag you out over my shoulder if you want. It's your choice really?"

"You're not taking no for an answer are you?"

"Now you're getting it, be there at six."

And with that he hangs up the phone. Smug bastard. I chuckle and decide to change. He obviously won't let this go, and I really could use another night out, no matter how bad the last one was. I know this is such a bad decision, I'm acting like a slut but I just can't think right now.

I'm feeling like life's not going the way I planned, and I'm trying to be what everyone else wants me to be, and I'm not having fun. We only live once, so why am I dealing with all this drama at such a young age? I should be having fun while I can.

FUCK! I don't even have clothes to wear. Now what? I look at the clock and it says 5:20. Well there is a mall downstairs so I can go pick something up down there. I grab my purse and cautiously open the door.

I guess Christian decided not to come up to my room after all. I quickly dash down stairs, and find the mall. The first store in sight that I can afford is H&M. I enter it and easily find black skinny jeans, leather knee high boots, and a navy blue tank with a leather jacket. It was on the mannequin I saw in the center of the store and I absolutely adored it.

With a total cost of $50.43 plus tax, I got the outfit, and left the mall, and head back to my room, I spot Rosalie going on the same elevator as me, minus Christian. Well at least he is not with her. As I take my spot adjacent to her, I wait for the elevator to arrive.

"Hello Rosalie, I'm glad to see you don't have a smirk on your face anymore."

I don't see any trace of anger or bitchy in her face as she answers me.

"Ana look, I didn't mean to laugh, I just… it comes out when I'm nervous."

"Glad to know. But do you mind telling me why you were nervous?"

"Are you sure you want to know?"

"Enlighten me."

A loud ping catches are attention, and we enter the elevator.

"I just… look Ana there is really no reason for you to be upset with Christian, I am his wife. If anything it is I who should be mad at either of you, but I'm not. Plus if you really did love Christian, you wouldn't have slept with another man."

I stare at her completely speechless. Everything that came out of her mouth is 100 percent true, but frankly I'm not in the best mood to play nice, and be the bigger man.

"Well I'm glad you feel so free to state your fucking opinion. I was drinking and upset and I do regret it, but he was the one who came at me when he was not Mr. Innocent, so maybe you should be speaking to him."

"I'm sorry but my husband is nowhere to be found. And he is nowhere in the wrong if anything you are just a home wrecker. Christian loves me; he proved it to me last night. Maybe your just better off being with your guy friend who you oh so kindly rubbed in his face. Because as far as I'm concerned Christian is no longer your concern, neither are you to him. It is unfortunate what you went through but that's history, why can't you just let it go? If the roles were reversed how would you feel, because I know how it feels and I'd be damned if I lose him without a fight."

Little bitch. I stare at Rosalie trying to contemplate everything that happened, but cannot find anything wrong with what she said. I can't even find a comeback. YES YOU CAN ANASTASIA THAT IS YOUR MAN; YOU BETTER FIGHT FOR HIM ASWELL.

"I'm sorry you see it that way but me and Christian go way beyond second choice. How about first love? I showed him he can love, I made him the man you fell in love with today, like you said unfortunately we were deprived of our love. Yes WE. He settled for you because of the fact that he thought I was dead. However I am not and the only thing that kept me living was the hope that I can see Christian again. So I too will be damned if I let him go without a fight. Game on bitch."

The elevator pings again with our decadent and I make my way to my room, without looking back at Rosalie. People these days and the things they say amaze me. Three years ago I only had to deal with the bitch troll Elena, but obviously that is not the case.

I head in the room, and quickly get dressed. At five fifty five I head down and wait for Michael. With one minute to six he is there, and looking more beautiful than ever.

He gets out of the car and approaches me. With his leather jacket, white T, black jeans and combat boots he looks delicious.

"Michael."

"Ana. You look stunning if it isn't obvious. Maybe I'll be getting into your pants earlier than expected."

He winks and arches a brow.

"Yea dream on. Yesterday was a free pass, and an only pass."

"Don't be too sure Anastasia; my persuasion skills never fail me, even without the influence of alcohol."

"Well I'm sorry to tell you that they will fail you tonight."

"You really know how to kill an ego. Your lack of confidence in me really hurts."

"Awww, too bad."

"I can see someone is sexually frustrated and only after one night. God you work fast."

"Yep, and it's because my needs weren't fulfilled enough.":

"Gosh Ana, if you want to have sex with me again all you have to do is ask. And I will say yes. No need to sugar coat things."

I playfully hit him and enter his car before saying, "You're an ass."

"And you have a mighty fine one baby."


	10. Chapter 10

_**Authors' Note**_

I'm sorry to get your hopes up I will be posting a chapter tommorow for sure i just needed some help. I am having major writers block. You can say i'm in a bit of a rut. My mind is foggy and with all of the directions that the story can go at this point, i just want to know what you guys suggest i should do. I have been writen by many readers telling me to pursue the Michael charecter, some want Ana to engage in sexual activity with him again, and others don't. Some people wish to only see them kiss to make Christian jealous and other's would like for him to be out of the story. I understand that many of you guys wish for Ana and Christian to be back together, but don't you guys want some drama? The story will be plain boring, and unoriginal if they end up together. I want them to struggle to maintain their relationship, with a few bumps in the road. I wanted to add new villans for you guys to hate other than the same old Elena and Jack hyde i mean EVERYONE uses them. I added Michael to give the story more drama, and to add to the mix of confustion. However my main goal is to capture my audiences attention, and i intend to keep it. So please do me a favor and express specifically what you would like to see in future chapters. Perhaps maybe you can give me a timeline of how you would like the story to play out. You can PM me or comment either is fine with me. Please keep the negativity to yourself unless you deal with it in a mature manner. Remember i am only 13 i am not a famouse author, who is excellent at writing storys. Please remember that, and try to keep an open mind, and be open with new oppourtunitys. I can't wait to hear what you guys think, i will definetly incorporate your criticism and ideas in the next chapter. Don't be afraid to be Blunt and brutal just as long as you don't do it in a inappropiate manner. Thanks again for the support. Until next time...


	11. Chapter 11

_**Definitely didn't plan on writing today although i said i would but it came to me, and i just wanted to share this chapter with you guys and get your opinions. I took everything you guys said into deep consideration. Some things people infered i do was not how i planned it to go. Let me say I dont plan on making Rosalie a Jack Hyde. Aren't you guys tired of the death threats that people use in every story? I'm planning on taking a diffrent turn, with just as much drama, and it will be just as good. I will make it really hard to Like and Dislike people in this story. Yes you guys will have to be patient with Ana and Christians reunion but please bare with me for the wait will be worth it. I plan on using new things that eople on the sight havent used yet. Please give me your comments and let me know what you think. By the way i would like to thank people for the lovley comments and PM's i got in the spand of two days, They definetly made my day. Everyone is quite shocked that I'm 13. I'm glad people have so much faith in me, and enjoy my story so much. The dept of confidence, and faith you guys have in me is truly amazing. Thanks again. Until next time.**_

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We pull up at the curb of the street; in front of what I know is one of the most popular clubs Seattle. It's called venom. Just the sound of it fits perfectly for Michael.

"I own the place you know." He states matter of factly and pulls the keys out of the ignition.

"Of course it is." I stare at the club, and wonder about my tastes in men.

Obviously there's a certain attraction with me and smug ceo's. Not that I have a problem with it in particular, but other than their personality's I'd say Michael is the epitome of Christian. Although Christian act's more formal where as Michael is just really blunt, cocky and sarcastic. I snap myself out of my reverie and am reminded of the last time I was in a club.

"Okay so here is the deal. No funny business. Me you and drinks; Not a good combination. I agreed to come out here with you but no more sexual activity I have too much too deal with right now, adding to the fire isn't the best idea."

"Me, try something slick? Never Anastasia." He smirks. Cocky son of a bitch.

"Ha-ha, again very funny. Just promise me, or else you can take me back to the hotel."

"Mmmm the hotel. Can I take you up on that bath offer?" He cocks his brow.

"Michael." I state exasperated. He chuckles lightly and leans in closer with every word.

"For you Anastasia. I. Promise." He stops right in front of my lips.

My breathing hitches and I am stock still, my gaze fixed on his lip. My lips are parted and by the smirk he is giving me I know he knows what he's doing to me. He breathes and moves away leaving me feeling totally exposed, and awe strucked.

"Well we better get in that club shouldn't we?"

He looks satisfied proving his point. Men, they will do anything just to feel right. I can only muster up a nod, and I quickly exit the car.

God Ana, if it only took a half attempt with absolutely no alcohol in your system at all, to almost kiss him, how the hell do you think you're going to last the night?

I rambling on in my brain, wondering what made me think I can control myself around him? From my history I basically fall weak at the knees for a kiss or even the slightest contact at all.

**_Well doesn't that tell you that maybe just maybe you should choose men who don't make you act like a dumb blonde with no brains?_**

Yea maybe I should choose men who aren't so difficult to ignore.

Michael claims his place besides me and steers me into the club by having his hand fixated on my lower back. Okay I really need to breathe and just picture him as just a regular guy.

We stride right through the doors, and immediately my nose is filled with the aroma of the place. It smells of alcohol, sweat, and sweat.

"My private booth is up there come on."

I begin to follow him until my brain comes back and I get some sensed knocked into me.

"Booth? What no we can stay down here.. It's perfectly safe of regret down here." I murmur the last part under my breath.

"What? Too much of a temptation? Is my good looks too much of a distraction?"

Fuck him and his good looks. I know he is completely on point with his stament and he knows it but I will not give him the satisfaction.

"As if. If I recall correctly the only reason we had any sexual encounter was due to the influence of alcohol. I can assure you no sexual activity will be going on tonight what so ever."

I smile happily with my ability to sound almost sure of myself, and not stutter. But from on look at him, he isn't too reassured.

"The night is still young Ana. Plenty of room for change of minds, some dirty dancing, some mind-blowing sex."

He winks at me and takes a shot from a passing waiter with a tray. With yet another smug grin he walks to the bar leaving me to be empty minded.

I inhale and exhale, and try to clear my mind. Although I can say the songs that are playing is not helping me. David Guetta's Tonight I'm Fucking you, isn't the best motivator for not having sex. But I am a woman, and I can learn to not let my libido lead the way.

I walk to him and take his shot from his hand and drink it. He looks at me and orders four more.

"You know I have someone who I love very much. Someone who is highly pissed the fuck off at my careless actions, so no there is no room tonight for sex, or change of minds. Or anything at all."

"I recall my words specifically were mind blowing sex. Surly the definition of just sex when it involves me and you is an understatement."

I down another shot and close my eyes as the burning sensation that results in my throat.

"I'm not kidding Michael. He is very upset."

"Oh what boyfriend wasn't to fond of the idea of or little interactment? Shocker."

"God I mean I'm such a slut. Who am I to say I love him, but have sex with another man?"

"Hey hey hey," He grabs hold of my chin and forces me to look at him, "You are not a slut Ana, any man who thinks otherwise doesn't deserve you."

I stare into his eyes looking for the usual glint of humor but I can't see any. This has to be the most serious I had ever seen him.

I quickly swallow, and fix my eyes back to the shot in front of me and down another one.

"Then there's Rosalie, who tells me that she is his. I mean she is wrong, he is mine. Right she is wrong?"

God I sound like a petulant little child. The drinks are obviously getting to me yet again. So much for staying sober.

"Yes so wrong." Michael says imitating a white girl's voice. He is just trying to make me happy, and I laugh a little.

We both down drinks at the same time and slam them down on the bar.

"How about enough of the chit-chat and let's dance. Ease you're Mind you brood too much, and you need to relax. So let's go."

As he pulls me I quickly try to drink on more sip of the drink, and throw it in a attempt to make it on the bar as he pulls me away.

He twirls me around once we get to the dance floor, and we let the music take over.

I start to let the lyrics sooth my wounded soul, and take hold of my body. I feel like I am by myself, I start to twirl, and laugh forgetting all about Michael.

Of course when I open my eyes he is staring at me while dancing at a close proximity. My thoughts suddenly go back to Christian causing me to frown, and ramble on about him again.

"He always looks at me like that. Gosh I don't think he will ever speak to me again."

I wrap my arms around Michael, and we began to dance slowly together, while my chin is prompted on his shoulder.

"I'm sure he will talk to you again. I mean you are hard to avoid."

"Brooding again." He mentions and I laugh against him.

"Am not, just venting."

"Yea sure Ana."

I pick my head and use my hands to pucker up his lips, and move them to mouth words while I try to imitate his voice.

"Yes you are not brooding." I start to laugh and can see a grin forming on his mouth.

"Obviously way too much in your system, because that was not funny."

I pick my head up from laughing and smirk at him.

"Oh come on admit it, I'm funny. You know it; it's okay to admit it."

"Oh now I see what it takes to get the fun Ana out of you?"

"Yea and this is the only time when you're going to see her. Evvvveerrrrrr." I burp, and he shakes his head.

"That's too bad, because I have to cut this party short. Come on let's take you home."

"Aww come on. Since when were you the fun police?"

"Yea your right I do sound like my dad. But too bad I don't give a fuck right now, where you're concerned I could give a dam who I sound like."

"Who's the brooder noooowww?" My words start to slur, and I definitely know that didn't do anything to convince him at all.

"Yea that's mu cue come on let's get going."

"Well there's a slight problem. Everything is all dizzy and I can't move unless you want, you want, throoooow up on yoooou." I cock my head, and feel like a complete ditz.

He comes to me and picks me up and I rest my head on his chest.

"Sooo much, for not getting drunkkk. Hmmmmm?"

"I told you the night was young Ana." He smirks and I frown.

"You're always righttt. You need to stoooop it."

He leads us back to the bar and grabs my purse. He starts looking in it searching for something.

"Your not going to find Narniaaaaa, if that's what you're looking for…."

He chuckles and shakes his head.

"Not Narnia, just looking for your room key. Where is it?"

"Ohhhh, someone wants to be sneakyyyyy. Noo boys aloud Mr."

"I'm serious Ana where is your key?"

"Wellllll if it's not there….. Hmmmm, Maybe… Maybeee.. I give uppp."

"Great."

We head back to the car, and Michael lays me into the seat, and covers me with his jacket. He gets into his seat and we start to drive.

The drinks take affect and I slowly fall into a deep sleep.

Michael's POV

I start to drive, and in about 10 minutes I'm in front of my house. I park In the garage, and take hold of Ana.

She's sleeping so angle like in my arms, and I can't help but stare at her in awe. She's amazing. Stubborn, a pain in the ass, amusing, funny, strong. She is perfect.

I enter the elevator and it descends to my penthouse. She stirs a little and the movement, but quickly adjusts and snuggles even closer to me.

As the elevator opens, I enter my home and lay Ana on my bed. I pick of the duvet and gently place it over her body.

It feels good to have her here, in my home, in my bed. I sit on the end of the bed and run my finger along her face, outlining her jaw.

I move her hair out of her face, and stare at her. She is beautiful, stunning actually. Her exquisite features, her ability to make me smile no matter the state I'm in.

She's stuck on my mind. She isn't fazed by my bullshit, and the way she sees's right through all my crap. Her touch is like adrenaline spiking through me.

I've never let anyone in before. Only once, and I got my heart broken. That changed me into the dick I am into today. But Ana, god she just snuck up on me, let herself in without my knowing.

I've known her for only two days, but can't deny the strong connection. At this point not having her in my life isn't an option. Her blue eye's stay fixated in my mind, her smile is enough to make me happy.

I don't know what else to call it. I know it isn't lust, or need. Slowly she is filling a void in my heart, breaking down my walls, tearing me apart, shedding me of the man I am, and exposing me to new things.

She doesn't even know it. I have felt this before, once. There for I know what to call it. I vowed to never feel this way, but with Ana their seems to not be another choice.

The feeling when I'm with her gives me such a rush. I feel in place, sane. I feel as if nothing can phase me. I know this is insane, I've known her for like two fucking seconds, but I can't explain it. Her touch itself can bring me to pieces, her wit and charm. She is lethal, like a disease taking over me, it's uncontrollable.

I'm afraid myself of how I feel about her, and in such little time. Musing it to myself in my head even makes me frightened. I don't know if I can tell her or anyone the truth about the depts. of feeling I feel for her. I'm not sure I truly believe it myself. This may be the only chance I actually have the balls to tell her.

I grab hold of her cheek and smile slightly.

"I'm falling in love with you."

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_** Next chapter WILL be a Christian POV Many have asked for it so i will oblige.**_


	12. Chapter 12

_**Author's Note**_

I will be writing due to what you guys think. So i've gotten some comments, and PM's saying I am too young to be writing about sex. This does not offend me at all, it's actually funny to me. I agree with them, yes it is inappropiate in a way but come on tell me when you were 13 you never did anything that in adults eye would seem inappropriate. I bet people on here were having sex at thirteen, and speaking of it, and saying curses. So really it isnt nothing new, people are being some what of a hypocrite. I bet there is no one on here wh at the age of thirteen were little innocent angles. S i undersand if people find it uncomfortable for me to be writing and having adults read it. Like i said before though i may be thirteen, but i have the mentality of a 30 year old. And the fact that i am mature enough to write about sex, and tell you guys I am thirteen means i am not ashamed of it. However if the readers dont like it please tell me now if you would like me to stop writing, and maybe write a fan fiction about Vampire diaries, or maybe even telly tubbie. Would that be age appropiate enough? Please give me your comments saying what i should do, and i will oblige. By the way on the 20th of november i will be turning 14, so is that a better age, or no?


	13. Chapter 13

_**Okay i have received pleads telling me to continue. The inspiration was great, and dully noted. I will continue. I did not think when i first wrote this story that it will become so popular, and that people will love it this much. Thank you guys so much for the support. So i was not going to post a chapter today because i went to see breaking dawn ( which by the way is awesome, i recommend it ), But my conscious took over, and i thought I'd put you guys out of your misery. Okay before you read i have one question for you guys, I have an idea for another story on fifty shades, and i was wondering if you guys think i should pursue it? Based on this story and now you've seen what I am capable of writing would you guys read it?**_

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_**Christian POV**_

After that night with Anastasia I left and just drove. With no destination in mind, I just needed to fucking breathe. I fucked up, that I know. I can't take back what I did last night.

But Anastasia. She fucking tells me she will not sleep with anyone but does it anyway? I didn't promise anything, but after she tells me she won't she does it anyway?

She was MINE. I don't think I've ever been more hurt ever. It's like I can't look at her the same. I didn't want to look at her or Rosalie, or myself for that matter.

I can't even begin to explain the confusion, or the pain I feel. The level of shame and disappointment I feel in me but also Ana. The fact that I was the only one who had ever had the privilege to explore her is all gone.

That made our relationship so special, so pure. Now I can't help but feel like that specialty is missing, it's gone.

I couldn't bring myself to pick up the phone and talk to her. I can't think for myself right now because I know as of right now I am not in control of what comes out my mind.

That's why I need someone to be in control right now. That's why I contacted Flynn.

"Hello Christian."

"John."

"I can't help but feel like you're out of your zone today."

"Is it that obvious?"

"Well yes seeing as how we've been sitting here for," He checks his watch, "About ten minutes, and I've earned no snarky remark from you, just uncomfortable one word answers."

"Anastasia isn't mine anymore."

"What do you mean she isn't yours? I mean other than the obvious?"

"She isn't mine john. As in sexually. She fucking gave it up to her so called friend. She was all mines, now I can't get passed the fact that she is his, whoever the fuck he is."

"How does this make you feel?"

"Are you really asking me that? Can you not see the fucking fury oozing out of me?"

"Well what I see on the outside is different from what I see on the inside. Plus I can't help but feel like there is more to the story Christian."

"I'm agonized, battered, enraged, fuming. I'm a ball of mixed emotions, and none of which are helping the fact of the matter right now."

"But…"

"But I can't be upset with her."

"And why can't you be upset with her?"

"Because, because I slept with Rosalie."

"And why is this a problem Christian. Again if you hold out on me it is impossible for me to help you in any way."

"Yesterday Ana and I slept together. Well not slept, that would be an understatement. We made love. We ignited old sparks, and it was fucking amazing. I guess I was caught up in the moment, and never wanted to lose her again that I chased her away by asking her to marry me."

"Go on.."

"She got overwhelmed, and started realizing all of the effects of our love making. She told me to take care of my relationship with Rosalie and she left. Then I fucking ruined it by not ending our relationship, but fucking her instead."

"Why did you feel the need to have sex with her Christian?"

"I don't fucking know, that's why you're here John."

"No Christian, I am here to help you unravel your problems not solve them. You are the only one who can solve your problems."

"Well I guess we have hit a dead end because I don't fucking know."

"Think Christian. Think of how you felt when you asked Ana to marry you, up until you had sex with Rosalie. Why did you do it?"

"I. Don't. Know."

"Did you do it because you don't care about Anastasia's feelings?"

"NO!"

"Or maybe because you really are heartless like everyone says you are. Or maybe because you don't really love Anastasia at all?"

"NO that's not fucking it."

"Then tell me why Christian or you are goanna leave me to ponder my thoughts, and come up with false accusations."

"I don't fucking know john. I guess because I felt like… Like I owed her that much."

"You see now we are getting somewhere. So you felt guilty. Why?"

"Because. Because she was there in my time of need. She was like a distraction, a replacement if you will. She filled the void that Ana left when I thought that she died. I owe her that much to give her what she wanted and I guess the guilt took over me."

"Guilt, or maybe love?"

"No john. Yes I love Rosalie, but it is nowhere compared to the love I feel for Ana. The love I feel for her, is a kind of love I can't even begin to explain. I'd say that guilt was the overriding feeling I felt while I slept with Rosalie."

"And how do you feel about Anastasia now that she is not fully yours as you say?"

"Again I really don't know. I can't even begin to put it into words. I feel like someone rained on my parade. I think my infatuation with her was based on the fact that I can truly say she belonged to me. She was my possession, it made me feel special. I loved that part about her most, that I got the best of her no one else. Now that was ripped from me. And the fact that that fucking scum of a friend, didn't even do much to get into her pants, and the fact that she left him hurts even more."

"Don't you think she may feel the same about what you've done? I mean I know you had experienced sex way before you knew her, but the fact that you slept with Rosalie, did you ever think that she is feeling the same way?"

"Yes john but you don't understand the pure joy it gave me knowing that Anastasia was TRULY mine. It's a fucking wonderful feeling, it's a indescribable sensational feeling that fills me when I have sex with her and know that I am the only one who has ever been there. That I am the only one that will ever be there. It gives me a sense of power, it gives me this rush, this unexplainable emotion, and It just made me love her even more. She was pure in my eyes, innocent, new."

"And do you think that your love for her or the way you see her is any different?"

I stare at John in confusion. My love for Ana honestly can never change. But do I see her any different now that she has been shared with another man? Now that another man explored my most prized possession and got a glimpse of what was only for my eyes?

"Yes."


	14. Chapter 14

**_First of all let me say HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME. I'm going out tonight so I thought I'd put you guys out of your misery and write a chapter. First I want to say some things. If you're going to stop reading there is NO reason what so ever to post under the story "I'm going to stop reading now." I really don't care it's up to you but why do you have to post it? Do you think I'm going to cry and beg you to keep reading? Please save the comment space to actually comment on the story. Okay now people are saying they hate Christian. Hey I can't judge but keep in mind I didn't say he loves her less he just feels like that specialty in the relationship is gone. I mean Ana was all his and now he has to deal with the fact that it's not true. He is out of control and we all know how possessive Christian is and how he becomes especially when it concerns his control. Lastly I thought you were all Ana and Christian but to see some people converting to Michael and Ana because of my story is amazing. I didn't think my story will have such an effect on the readers its beautiful thanks so__ much._**

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Part 1

"Michael why are you pushing the subject?"

"Anastasia you can't deny that there is something here between us._ Sometimes, we just forget what we're looking for, sometimes; we just need to pretend that we're not looking. We need to feed our denial, because the more alive we feel, the more susceptible to pain we become. It's a double edged sword, but in the long run, I know it's worth it. I would rather feel alive, feel humanity coursing through my veins, than sit here and pretend that I don't feel anything for are just hiding the fact that what we have can become something more because of this thing you have for this man. He's all you know so your afraid to go off the deep end and try something new. Your choosing the safe choice rather than putting aside those thoughts and taking a risk for once."_

_I shake my head and turn my face as tears roll down my face. He places his hands on my face and forces my face to him._

_"Just admit it, once please."_

_"Michael….. I… I can't."_

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**10 hours earlier**

I awake and curl onto my side only to be confronted with a chest. I smile and inhale his scent. I'm so glad we've dealt with this.

"Christian." I whisper with a cheesy grin.

I open my eyes to see my beautiful man, only to see Michael fully clothed, smirking at me.

"Wrong boy toy darling." He grins and I roll over exasperated.

"Ugg Michael."

"Nice to see you too."

My senses come back and I notice that once again I am not in my bed but... But… Michaels.

"Oh my god. Michael, we didn't, not again. Oh gosh."

He chuckles and places his hands behind his heads.

"Sadly no, but you know what they say third time's a charm."

I get out of bed and throw a pillow at him. He catches it and frowns.

"You know a thank you would be nice. You didn't have your key so you can thank yourself that you're back in my bed. Though I'm not complaining, you're welcome any time."

I place my sweater on that was neatly draped over the nearby couch. I check the pockets and take out my phone.

1 new alert.

Alert? I check it and my heart completely stops beating at once.

Christian's Birthday.

It's Christian's birthday and I'm here at Michael's house.

"What's with the furrowed brows?" Michael asks as he wings his legs off the bed and stands next to me.

"It's… It's Christian's Birthday today." I turn to face him, and bite my lip in frustration.

"I take it it's not okay with you that your missing it."

I roll my eyes and shake my head.

"Well what the fuck do you think? Of course I'm not okay with missing his birthday, god I fucked up big time."

I start to pace, and run my hands through my hair. Jesus Christian has rubbed off on me. Michael strides over to me, and places his hands on my face so that I'm facing him.

"Okay, no need to pop vein thinking about this. If it means that much to you, I'll drive you, okay."

I look up at him and see that all games are gone again. This has to be the second time since I've met him that I've seen him so serious.

"Thank you."

"Let me just get changed first. You and all your drunkenness yesterday I forgot to change and bathe."

He took off his shirt and popped the first button on his jeans and I just stood there dumbfounded.

I was all caught up in the sight of him; I didn't notice I was staring.

"Are you going to stay for the show?"

His cocky smirk came back, and I shake my head an swallowed.

Heading out of the door I closed t behind me and just stood there trying to gather my thoughts.

Two days, I've known him for two days and even I can't lie to myself about the fact that I feel something for him. Nothing as strong as what I feel for Christian but it's something there.

Then again it really didn't take me long to develop these strong feelings for Christian either. But I'm afraid of the depths of these feelings. I've gotten myself into a whole other situation I can't handle right now.

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I know it is short, but i am running short on time. Rememer what I've said since day one :CHRISTIAN AND ANA WILL BE TOGETHER IN THE END.

I hope you like it comment follow and favorite. This is only part one, part two is to come, bare with me people. Until next time...


	15. Chapter 15

Hello readers. This is Part two the one you've been waiting for. I hope i've eased your suffering. Comment fav follow please. There will be a part three to this. Enjoy.

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As we pull up in front of Kate's apartment, I turn to Michael.

"Okay you can come in but just.. Okay the thing is Kate can be very… Forward, and blunt. She won't hold anything back so just don't take it into offense. Anyway we won't be there to long I just need to change my clothes and we will be out of there in no time."

"I'm up for the challenge."

As we get out of the car and head to the door I hear many voices in side. I frown and unlock the door only to be stopped dead in my tracks by Christian, Kate, Elliot, Grace, Mia , and of course Rosalie.

"Ummmm…"

Fuck me.

"Ana… Umm and Ana's friend come in." I'm greeted by Kate who has an apologetic look on her face.

As she comes closely and hugs me a whisper menacingly in her here.

"What the fuck are the greys doing here?" I ask trying to hide my face so our guest won't see the killer glare in my eye.

"Yea last minute I fill you up to date, just follow my lead."

Kate turns her body to the rest of the crowd and claps her hands together while plastering a big smile on her face.

"Umm I just need to show Ana something in her room," I cough and avert my gaze to Michael so she gets the picture," Ohh, Oh and Ana's friend. Enjoy yourselves we will be back."

I grab hold of Michaels arm and tell him, "Come on my room's this way."

"Ana your room. Isn't it a bit sudden?" I give him the most deadliest look, telling him to shut up.

I follow Kate's lead all the while avoiding looking Christian in the eye. I can't even imagine what he must be feeling right now. We enter my room and I close the door and turn to Kate.

"Explain yourself Kate."

"Okay look Ana I know it's bad especially since I didn't know you would be bringing a man home." She looks at Michael and he smirks.

"Hi." I roll my eyes and urge Kate to continue.

"Okay so the greys are having some sort of infestation going on in their house, and they really wanted to have a family gathering for Christian's birthday. They didn't have a key to Christian's home so they asked me if they can do it here, and Elliot persuaded him to come over. Of course Elliot's dumb ass invited Rosalie over not knowing what's going on, so I am really sorry."

I cover my hands with my face, and slowly bring them up to grab hold of my hair.

"God Kate this is so bad. I must look, oh my god."

Kate grabs hold of me and try's to calm me down.

"Listen Ana it's not that bad. Christian has a fucking wife no one will chastise you. Well except maybe Christian…. But you know what that is beside the point. Let's Just go out there and put on some smiles."

"Oh this should be fun." Michael murmurs besides us. His arms are crossed over his chest and he is leaning against the wall.

I shake my head and slide my body down on the door. Fuck my life. If I though me and Christian had any chance of reconcile those chances are thrown out of the window.

"Okay fine, let's just get this over with."

"Wow Ana I get to meet the family so soon. We need to talk about this relationship going to fast."

As Kate helps lift me up I shake my head with an exasperated look.

"You're not funny Michael. God let's just go already before I change my mind and go running for the hills." I smile at the thought of Christian telling me that.

I open the door and head in the living room. Immediately all eyes are on me. God I wish I could evaporate.

"We'll look who decided to join us." Christian say's as finishes the remainder of his drink, and gives me the coldest look I ever saw.

Well it's nice to see you to. God he isn't so innocent either. Grace moves to her son's side and places a hand on his shoulder.

"Ana why don't you help us girls in the kitchen, let's catch up."

Wearily I eye Christian and Michael before leaning in to give Michael a warning.

"Don't do anything stupid or say anything stupid… In fact just don't be yourself."

"Mmmmm... That's nice. Have I told you lately how strong your confidence in me is? It's heartwarming really."

I place squeeze the bridge of my nose and shake my head. I already know how today's going to go.

I enter the kitchen and the conversation dies down. Really can they be more obvious.

"Please don't stop talking because of me. Carry on." God can I sound more like Michael.

Grace gives me a sympathetic look as well as Mia.

"Ana I'm sorry it's just everything is really weird having you and Christian, and Rosalie and that hot guy you brought in. It's a recipe for disaster."

"I know Mia. I wasn't expecting this either. Michael is just a friend of course Christian won't see it that way."

Mia gives me a quizzical look and she hops off of the counter.

"Why would it bother Christian? He has a wife?"

Her eyes widen in the realization and she gasps, and a huge smile appears on her face.

"Do you too have something going on?"

I shush her and guide her towards the corner.

"Listen Mia there is nothing going on between us. At least not anymore, especially not after tonight. We have to discuss everything, but that's all I know."

"Ohhhh you two are going to rekindle sparks and all that good stuff. There's no one like you for him anyways Ana. Rosalie is alright, but she is no Ana."

I give her a warm smile and hug her tightly. Hearing things like this definitely give me hope that we might be together again.

"Let's go before people start t get suspicious."

We head back to the kitchen and I see Michael walking towards me.

"How did it go over there with the men?"

"Just peachy. With your little boy toy's death glare, and his brother's inquisition, it was just great. They made me feel so welcome."

I roll my eyes at him. I knew they weren't going to take it easy on him.

"I'm sorry. I can't even imagine how they will be with me. They don't even know I've spent the last 24 hours with you."

"You should just tell them. Rip the band- aid off."

"Are you kidding me? As if he isn't already fuming with me, it will be like waving a red flag in front of the bull."

"P.s I told them." He gives me a apologetic smile.

"Michael you did what! Oh god what will Christian think? It must of sounded like you were rubbing it in his face. Shit, what am I going to do now?"

"You might want to think fast Mr. death glare is coming."

I pick up my head only to be confronted with Christian.

"Anastasia we need to talk. In private." I can see his jaw clench, and his veins popping out from his neck.

"Awkward." Both me and Christian stare at Michael.

It is fucking impossible how he manages to make everything even more worst than it already is.

"I'll be over there."

Michael leaves me and Christian to talk. The tension is so thick I swear it is suffocating me.

"Listen Christian I'm sorry that he is here I didn't know he would be.."

I am cut off by Christian brining me into an embrace.

"God I've missed you so fucking much. These past days have been fucking agony."

I revile in the feel of his arms wrapped around me. God I've missed him so much.

"Christian I miss you so much. God I'm sorry."

"Shh baby its okay we both fucked up." He buries his head in the ape of my neck and inhales.

"Anastasia I can't do this shit any more. This fucking gave of mouse and cat, I just want us to be together and forget all the other shit. God I just need you to be mines again. I want to hold you, I need you. I can't cope with all this shit."

I intertwined my fingers in his hair, and start to massage his head to soothe him. This is like a dream hearing him say these words to me. Nothing can ruin this moment.

"Umm sorry to spoil your seven minute heaven. But we have a problem."

Both me and Christians heads shoot up and we face Michael. Of course I fucking spoke too soon.

"And what's the problem?" I can see the anger flaring in Michael's eyes but I just ignore it.

"James bond over here say something about a code red."

Both of our stares lock on taylor. Oh god code red can't mean anything good.

"Fuck, Taylor talk to me outside." I watch Christian and Taylor head out side.

* * *

**2 hours later**

I look at all of us gathered in the living room. Of course there has to be death threats. No because life was going so perfect for me before, now we have to deal with death threats.

"Okay so let me get this straight. This crazed fan wants' to kill Ana and Rosalie. You got it sent in an email, and you can't track it down. You've received pictures of them sent to you today."

Christian nods his head at Grace and she sits down.

Taylor comes in and we all stare at him.

"Sir Sawyer and Ryan are still on the search."

Michael rolls his eyes and stands up.

"Perfect so we've narrowed it down to nothing. Great come on Ana let's go."

He grabs a hold of my hand and Christian glares at him and stands in his way.

"Where the fuck do you think you're going? Did you not fucking hear that she has a death threat on her? I'm not letting her leave it's like signing her fucking death certificate."

"We've been cooped up here for hours were not the Ana frank family. And quite frankly I don't get why everyone's so worried about some pictures. It's an empty threat and you are stressing it too much. Plus at this rate your little James bond toys aren't doing the trick and finding this big bag predator, so all you have is hope. An hopes a bitch so get over it while you can."

That's the last I hear because all I see next is Christian's fist hit Michael's face.


	16. Chapter 16

There will be a part three people. Please enjoy. Until next time...

* * *

Everything pretty much goes quick from there. Michael stands and sends a blow to Christian's face then they are both pulled away by Taylor and Elliot. All I could do was stand there in shock. You see I knew that tonight would go a completely different route then it was supposed to go.

Immediately I feel my temper rising as I see Rosalie attend to Christian's Side. Is she fucking kidding me? The fact that she is even still here is beyond me.

"Can't you all see everything bad started happening after Ana came back? She turned what was supposed to be the happiest day for Christian in to a fucking disaster."

All eyes are on Rosalie now and I can see Kate come by my side and hold my arm.

"If you don't punch the bitch then I will."

I'm too stunned to even reply. The fact that she has the audacity to call me out and blame everything on me is what has my mind boggled.

"Please elaborate Rosalie." I state and step closer to her.

"Isn't it obvious? You broke me and Christian up. Then you dangle this new guy in front of his face and make him sick with jealousy. As if it's his fault that he found someone to love after you went missing. You just couldn't stay away could you? I love him why did you have to take him away from me?"

I can't help but sort of agree with her. The room is completely silent and it's as if everything is blacked out except for Rosalie.

"You're just an attention hogging, two timing, home wrecking slut. Why couldn't you just stay dead?"

Fucking bitch. I completely lose all of my morals and self respect when I pounce on her. I punch her straight in her nose and push her against the wall. I let out all my anger and all too soon I'm being pulled back by sawyer.

"How dare you?"

"Really your asking me that? You take every man I like away from me!"

"What the hell are you talking about every man?"

Is she fucking going crazy? Christian is just one man.

"Yea Michael I dated him back then. But of course you took him too. As if Christian wasn't enough."

My eyes as well as everyone else's goes to Michael. But he looks just as confused as all of us.

"I have no idea what the fuck she's talking about?"

We all look back at Rosalie. She looks even more pissed off.

"Wow and you don't even remember. The blind date, along with the other five dates we had until you broke it off?"

Again we look at Michael. At this point I just want all this shit to get off of our chest.

"Ohh shit. That was you? Wow you definitely look better."

Rosalie rolls her eyes and continues to talk.

"I suppose Elliot you don't remember me either?"

Kate's eyes look at Elliot. Her look is one that could kill as she crosses her arms, and arches her brow. Elliot puts his hands up and shakes his head.

"Babe I swear I have no idea what she's talking about."

Rosalie scoffs.

"Of course. A couple of years back at a club in down town Seattle. We were so drunk we ended up going in the back closet and..." Elliot cuts her off and stands in front of her while looking at Kate.

"Baby okay I know how this might look, but I swear I didn't remember. I mean before you I was basically a hoe. I'm sorry. Please believe me."

Kate is basically fuming at this point with fury.

"You sure are fucking sorry. Wait until I'm finished with this little…" She trys to attack Rosalie but is stopped by Elliot.

"Don't worry he's not the only one. Try Christian body guard Ryan. Of course he has the hot's for Ana as well. Is anybody here not fucking in love with Ana?"

Are eye's go to Ryan who has a shocked look on his face.

"I thought we were never going to speak of it again! Mr. Grey please believes me…"

Christian face is fucking red I'm sure he wishes he can spank everyone in the fucking room at this point.

"GET THE FUCK OUT. YOU ARE FUCKING FIRED." Ryan looks defeated and walks out.

The room goes into an uncomfortable silence that is filled with thick tension.

"So I'm guessing now's not a good time to mention my encounter with Rosalie. I swear I didn't have sex it was a truth or dare party we kissed and… I just I don't know why I couldn't recognize her before?"

We all look at Mia with a shocked expression on our faces. This night is just to fucking much.

"Of course you wouldn't remember me. I'm no Ana right."

"Did everyone have a fucking sexual encounter with Rosalie?" Kate asks.

She is just as exasperated as me.

Just then there's a knock at the door. We all stare at it in shock. Who could be there.

Grace shakes her head and opens the door only to be shocked by the presence of Elena.

"Missed me?" She asks with a smirk on her face.

"You. Have. Got. To. Be. Kidding. Me."


	17. Chapter 17

New chapter, YAY!

* * *

"Elena?" Does god purposely hate me today? Or someone, I mean speak about bad luck. Shit I mean I've been having a bad past three years and to think I could get a break.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Christian shouts at Elena.

Wow he talks. While he was basically finding out his Wife gets around, he didn't say a word.

"Christian that is not the way you speak to a woman." Grace scolds Christian.

A woman? Really a fucking woman. AT this point I am in no control of what comes out of my mouth, all I see is red.

"That's not a fucking woman. That's a molesting blonde rat. She's like a fucking woman version of John Gacy." All eyes are on me shocked.

"Really name calling are we now Ana? What are you mad that Christian found a new slave?" Elena spats out.

I can see most of the people in the room confused by the way we are speaking. We are using different meanings since no one knows about Christians "Hobbies."

"Really Elena? You sure you're not the one mad about the fact that I've moved on?" Christian states with a look of venom at Elena.

I can tell that hit her. We all know the old bitch is obsessed with him.

"Christian really? All she ever did was help you. You should be thanking her." Rosalie shouts at Christian.

We all look at her. Is she seriously defending Elena? How does she even know about them?

"Seriously?! Are you still fucking talking? Why are you still even here?" I yell exasperated. God dammit.

"I think it's safe to say that you've definitely got your fill of the greys so why don't you just leave?" I yell stepping towards her.

Michael and Elliot chuckle, but Kate gives Elliot such a cold look daring him to keep laughing.

"I'm glad you think it's funny Elliot. It's going to be even funnier when you sleep alone tonight."

Elliot immediately goes serious.

"Babe." He says but Kate just pushes him off.

"God this day just keeps getting worse. I have an interview tomorrow but yet I'm here arguing with a girl who's loving the crew, and Ms. Gacy."

"We sure don't want Anastasia going to another interview. I mean we know what happens with Ana and interviews. What if he's I don't know say he has a dominant personality." Elena say's putting an emphasis on Dominant.

Obviously she is referring to me and Christian. That bitch.

"Elena don't you have to go to a preschool and I don't know pick up your next victim?" I say causing her to growl.

"What about you Rosalie. Are you looking for a new family to corrupt? How about the Kardashians I here they are available? Or maybe you can score big and go straights to the Obama's?"

Both woman are practically seething. I am on fucking fire right now.

"Sorry Anastasia but I think were both fine with were we are right now. What about you? I have a friend who is looking for a new hostage group?"

Before I get to respond Christian punches Elena in the face knocking her out.

"THAT'S E-FUCKING-NUFF! THIS PARTY IS OVER. ELLIOT TAKE KATE HOME, SOMEONE BRING ELENA TO THE HOSPITAL OR NOT, ROASLIE JUST GET THE FUCK OUT, MICHAEL I REALLY COULD CARE LESS WHERE THE FUCK YOU GO, TAYLOR GET THE CAR READY NOW ME AND ANASTASIA ARE LEAVING. I'D BE DAMNED IF I LEAVE HERE WITH OUT HER!"

Everyone stares at Christian in shock. Quickly everyone starts to comply to what he said. Michael quickly comes up to me and pulls me to the corner.

"Are you just going to go with him like that?"

I bite my lip and try to think. I really like Michael so I don't want to hurt him.

"Yes Michael I am. I Love him and we need to sort through a lot of stuff and figure out what we are."

"Ana after all the shit he's done?"

"Michael why are you pushing the subject?"

"Anastasia you can't deny that there is something here between us._ Sometimes, we just forget what we're looking for, sometimes; we just need to pretend that we're not looking. We need to feed our denial, because the more alive we feel, the more susceptible to pain we become. It's a double edged sword, but in the long run, I know it's worth it. I would rather feel alive, feel humanity coursing through my veins, than sit here and pretend that I don't feel anything for are just hiding the fact that what we have can become something more because of this thing you have for this man. He's all you know so you're afraid to go off the deep end and try something new. You're choosing the safe choice rather than putting aside those thoughts and taking a risk for once."_

_I shake my head and turn my face as tears roll down my face. He places his hands on my face and forces my face to him._

_"Just admit it, once please."_

_"Michael….. I… I can't."_

_He nods in defeat. I can tell he is hurting. I won't deny that I feel something for him, but My love for Christian is beyond what I feel for anyone._

_Michael just walks away and out of the house. I stare after him feeling so sorry. I led him on, used him. He didn't deserve it._

_Christian comes up to me and starts to kiss me harshly. Soon all thoughts of Michael are gone. There is only Me and Christian like it always was._

_He pulls me in close to his chest as his lips press against my head._

_"Never again." I hear him whisper._

_All I can do is nod in agreement and let tears of relief flood down my face. He takes my hand and leads me to the car._

_The car ride is quiet. I think me and Christian are both scared to touch the problem at hand and discuss it. We don't want to ruin anything._

_We stop in front of the heath man and I can't help but smile._

_"Where it all began." I whisper softly._

_"Food. Now." Christian says._

_Heading into the place adjacent from the heathman, we head into the place taking a back booth. I figure he chose this place seeing as how we look like shit, not restaurant appropriate._

_Christian sits on one side of the booth, and as I go to sit opposite him he pulls me to him and places me on his lap._

_He starts to kiss my neck, and run my thighs with his hand. The waitress comes over and clears her throat to get our attention._

_I hear Christian growl in frustration._

_"Anastasia…. Hurry and eat… Please." He says sighing as he places me next to him._

_We order and don't talk throughout the entire meal. I feel awkward not speaking. It' uncomfortable._

_I can feel him staring at me, making me want him even more._

_I'm practically swallowing all of my food without chewing just to finish._

_After we finish we practically run to the heathman and head for the elevator. I can't help but feel like young kids. _

_As if the booth wasn't hard enough now I am basically forcing my legs shut. We are both side by side as the elevator descends. I can hear his labored breathing as well as mines._

_I can feel the intensity, It's almost tangible. I feel as if the walls are coming in on us, trying to join us together._

_I know if I don't do something now we won't get to talk at all._

_"Christian." I say trying to calm my breathing._

_We are not daring to look each other in the eye. We are both staring at the elevator door._

_"Yes. Anastasia." He says panting. I can tell he wants it even more than me if that's possible._

_"No Christian. We have… To wait." I say._

_Before he can respond the door opens and we let out a sigh of relief._

_Getting into the heathman he lets me sit while he pours some wine. I am so terrified of what's to come. What if he decides he doesn't want to be with me? What am I to do?_

_I've caused him pain, suffering. _

_Christian comes back and sets the wine down and sits on the chair opposite me._

_We sit in an eerie silence yet again. I know he is just as afraid to talk. He shouldn't have to thought. I'm the bad one here I should speak up first._

_"I'm sorry." I blurt out causing him to look at me._

_"Anastasia.." He says but I cut him off._

_"No let me finish Christian. After me going missing I was basically punishing you for moving on. I shouldn't expect you to stay stuck on me after I've been pronounced dead for three years. I mean you should be able to move on. Then I just come and sleep with the first guy I get in sight with. I mean.. How do you feel about that?"_

_"I … It's over with I did the same I shouldn't reprimand you on it." He says._

_"Your lying." I say sitting up._

_"Christian your lying. And you shouldn't have to please just talk to me."_

_"What do you want me to say Anastasia?" He says throwing the glass to the wall._

_"That it hurts? That I want to fucking rip him limb to limb? Huh is that what you want to fucking hear? Because it's true. It's fucking killing me that you were mine. That satisfaction of knowing that is gone. It's fucking gone, all due to what? Huh? A couple of drinks, some dancing and that's it? That's fucking shit that you just had sex with him!" He says pasting running his fingers through his hair._

_"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm so sorry. Okay I know that Christian. Because of my carelessness I will have to live with that for the rest of my life, but you're not the fucking innocent either. I mean do you think iw as happy seeing you come out of Rosalie's room? NO it killed me to. It all did. Finding out about the marriage, seeing her in your home, in your cloths. It all hurts."_

_I start to cry hysterically and Christian is immediately holding me tightly to him soothing me._

_"Those three years… Those terrible three years that I spent being tortured, being hit, treated like shit. You kept me alive Christian. Not Michael, not Rosalie, not anyone else, just you."_

_He pulls me away to look into my eyes. _

_"Show me." He says softly._

_"Show me where they hurt you." He says even quieter._

_He helps me lift my shirt and pants off and I start to show him._

_I point to my neck, my chest, my stomach, and my ankles._

_I can see his jaw clench, and tears straining to come out._

_He places a kiss on my neck down to my boobs, to my shoulder to my other shoulder._

_"No one." He says as he drops to his knees and starts to kiss my stomach and my hips._

_"Will ever." My breath hitches when I realize he's kissing every where, that I was hurt._

_He places my thigh on his shoulder and starts to kiss my thigh and my legs down to my ankles, then again to my other leg._

_"Touch you." He says as he moves to my feet and kisses each toe._

_"Ever again." He stands up and kisses my lips._

_"Not as long as I'm living Anastasia." I start to let tears stream down my face._

_He then Grabs holds of my ass tightly and lifts me up to wrap my legs around him. I lift his shirt off, as we kiss._

_As he kisses me sensually he slowly moves to bedroom and lays me on the bed._

_As he kisses my neck, I start to kiss his arms, his upper muscles, and back up to his neck._

_I flip him around and start to kiss his stomach and all the way down as he moans in appreciation. He flips us again to do the same. He tries to go "down there" but I quickly stop him by lifting his chin and pulling him to me to kiss him again._

_THANK THE LORD I'm ON BIRTH CONTROL, is all I can think._

_He looks to me as if asking that question as well and I nod. _

_He sits back up on his knees and he pulls off my panties making sure to kiss my leg again. He then slides back down and covers his body with mines._

_He unclasps my bra and squeezes my breast before kissing them each lightly causing me to purr in pleasure._

_He pulls off his pants in one swift motion before entering me. Just as all the other times the feel of it all is phenomenal. It's an amazing intimate moment were we get to truly express how much we've missed and loved each other._

_He can cherish my body just as I can cherish his._

_He looks me deep in the eye's as he flips us over and lets me do all the work. I run my fingers on his chest and start to kiss his neck and his ear before whispering, "I Love you," Softly._

_I can hear him moan in pleasure. I lay on him and we shut out eyes tightly as we rock in unison. My fingers interlock with his as we moan softly._

_The feel of this is all so right. Everything feels right._

_I slide my hands down to hold his abs and kiss his chest again. He is grabbing hold of my hips as he guides me._

_I drag my nails from the bottom of his sides to the top, before holding on to his biceps again. _

_I pick up my face to look in his eyes and kiss his jaw lightly licking and nibbling softly before I get to his mouth. I pull on his lower lip with my teeth before kissing him._

_We start to feel ourselves reaching our peek. I sit up and straddle him and I pull him up and wrap my legs around him as we continue to move._

_I grab hold of his face and kiss him again. I can feel his hands holding on to my arms before trailing up to cover my hand that is on his cheek._

_We reach out peek, and it is as beautiful as it can get. I feel at home, I feel safe, I feel loved. _

_As we come from our high I stare into his eyes before pressing my forehead against his and moving up so my lips are pressed against his forehead._

_He leans into the kiss before I let go and let him lay his head on my chest. I ruffle with his hair as he holds me tightly and starts to kiss my chest and inhale._

_"You Anastasia. Only you. Forever and Always."_

_I smile softly as a tear falls down my face._

_"Forever and always."_

* * *

_Love scene? Good or bad? I tryed to make it original. Feedback please._


	18. Chapter 18

**So basically the whole chapter is of when Christian found out Ana died and how he coped. So it's a flashback chapter. Enjoy.**

* * *

"Were sorry Mr. Grey. But Anastasia was not one of the survivors."

No longer can I take the pain etched in my heart. My body is numb; I don't dare to move knowing that if I do I will know this is anything but a dream.

The walls are closing in on me. My lungs refuse to inhale. The agony inside is burning me alive. Do I scream, cry, run?

This unbearable feeling is clawing at my chest, ripping through this façade of being a cold man. The heart I thought I didn't have is trying to continue to beat.

A ball in my throat I can't talk. This overwhelming feeling of guilt shadowing, is shadowing me and taking control.

Get out Grey!

Pushing past everyone I run and run letting my legs lead the way. My sameness has slipped away, along with every chance I had of regaining my humanity. I'm nothing left but a hollow shell, wasting space in the world.

_"- "Why don't you like to be touched?"  
- "Because I'm fifty shades of fucked-up, Anastasia"_

I have this urge to go back in time. This longing to start over and get her back.

_"Oh, fuck the paperwork,"_

Puddles of tears fill my eyes, blur my vision.

_"Are you smirking at me, Mr. Grey?"_

My heart ached laced with grief and an unbelievable amount of sorrow.

"_Why don't you like me ?" "Because you never stay with me."_

Why her. Why was she the one to be taken away from me.

_"I still want more," I whisper. "I know," he says. "I'll try." I blink up at him, and he relinquishes my hand and pulls at my chin, releasing my trapped lip. "For you, Anastasia, I will try."_

I'm "lost I'm broken. Even worse than before I had met her.

_"Does this mean you're going to make love to me tonight, Christian?"_

Why did I even have to meet you? Why couldn't I just stay away?

_"Of course. Silly me. Such a sad, exciting score, which no doubt you can play? So many accomplishments, Mr. Grey."  
"And the greatest one is you, Miss Steele."_

Why did I let my selfish needs get in the way? Why did I have to corrupt her?

_"Do you trust me Ana?" "Yes I do."_

You made me feel.

"_What happened to her?"_

"We finished."

"Why?"

"She wanted more."

"And you didn't?"

He shakes his head.

"I've never wanted more, until I met you."

You and I shared firsts.

_"Do you always impress woman this way. 'Come and fly in my helicopter?"_

_"I've never brought another girl up here, Anastasia. It's another first for me."_

You expressed your feelings to me.

_"That scares me... you scare me... I am completely caught up in your spell, considering a lifestyle with you that I didn't even know existed until last week, and then you write something like that and I want to run screaming into the hills. I won't of course, because I'd miss you. Really miss you. I want us to work, but I am terrified of the depth of feeling I have for you and the dark path you're leading me down. What you are offering is erotic and sexy, and I'm curious, but I'm also scared you'll hurt me- physically and emotionally. After three months you could say good-bye, and where will that leave me if you do?"_

And I expressed mines to you.

_"My world was ordered, calm, and controlled, then you came into my life with your smart mouth, your innocence, your beauty, and your quiet temerity ...and everything before you was just dull, empty, mediocre ...it was nothing."_

You beguiled me.

_"You are mine Anastasia. All mine."_

You loved me.

_"I love you and all your kinky fukery."_

And I loved you.

_"I can't bear to hurt you because I love you Anastasia."_

I loved everything about you. You were stubborn.

_"The sooner I have your submission the better, and we can stop all this."_

_"Stop all what?"_

_"You defying me."_

You're Innocence.

_"Because I've never had sex before."_

_"You're a virgin?!"_

You're Insecurities.

_"This is me, Ana. All of me… and I'm all yours. What do I have to do to make you realize that? To make you see that I want you any way that I can get you. That I love you."_

Your smart mouth.

_"Are you gay Mr. Grey?"_

All of you, completely and utterly. I love you. You promised you wouldn't leave.

_"When are you going to get it through your thick skull that I would never leave. What do I have to do to make you believe that?"_

But now you're gone.

_"Goodbye Christian."_

_"Goodbye Anastasia."_

A week later.

"Hey this is Ana, if I'm not answering I'm probably really busy or I just don't want to answer. Leave a message."

I need to hear it again. Dial. Ring, ring. No answer.

"Hey this is Ana, if I'm not answering I'm probably really busy or I just don't want to answer. Leave a message."

No I need to hear it again. Replay. Dial. Ring, ring.

"Hey this is Ana, if I'm not answering I'm probably really busy or I just don't want to answer. Leave a mes…"

I check my phone. Battery dead. FUCK!

I throw it across the room and grab her pillow against me.

I'm losing her. With every day it's getting harder to remember her.

No, no think Grey. Think really hard.

_"I love you Mr. Grey."_

I smile as tears fall silently across my face and onto her pillow.

There you go, she's here with you. Think harder.

_"It 's you Christian. Only you. It will only ever be you."_

Tears start to fall faster and faster. She's only a faint memory now. I'm yearning of her.

I don't think I'll ever finish mourning. I'm slowly losing all memory of her, her scent.

Getting up I slide some clothes on and head to the only place I would rather be right now.

I get in front of the place holding her body. No fucking way would anyone make me put her in the ground. She doesn't deserve to be in the ground.

Although she isn't in there, I can imagine she is.

I slide my hand across the casket, as the feeling surges through me again. This searing pain, this metaphoric hand that is choking every ounce of life out of my heart.

I lay my head on the casket and let my eye's ball.

"Ana… Where are you?" I fit in, in between cries.

"I can't call you, I can't knock on your door, I can't touch you feel you."

A sound that sounds so foreign comes out. I take shuddering breaths and I kiss the casket.

"Please just come back. Wake up come to me. I need you to tell me you love me, I need to hear your voice. I need you Ana. This…. This pain in me…. Only you can soothe."

I get up and throw a nearby vase of flowers.

"WHY! WHY CANT I JUST HOLD YOU AGAIN! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THERE WHEN EVER I MAKE A MISTAKE. YOU SUPPOSED TO TELL ME TO BE MORE CARING. YOUR SUPPOSED TO BE THERE SO I CAN GET LOST IN YOU. YOU….. YOU…. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THERE WITH ME WALKING DOWN THE AISLE."

I open the boxed ring I've had a while and stare at it.

"Please Ana. Just come home baby. Please just take it away. Take this pain away, I can't take it. Take this hurt away, take the fucking burning out of my chest. I just want to tell you I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you…. So so much."

I sniffle and spread my hand flat on the casket and I gaze off in the distance. I'm trying to imagine this is her.

"I want to see you frown when you're deep in thought. I want to see the passion and desire in your eye's whenever you look at me. Or the utter heaven you feel when I bring you to ecstasy. I want to hear you giggle…. God that giggle. I want to hear your smart mouth, and I just want you to challenge me again and make me a better man. I need you… But your gone."

Christian get's out of his day dream of the past as he looks at his cure in front of him. This is what he has wanted for the past three years. Now he has it, and he is going to grasp on it with his life.

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**What would you want to read next? Any sugestions? **


	19. Chapter 19

Yes i know i have abandon this, i just have had a shit load of writers block. I have a propostition for my readers, so listen up. I'm using you guys to my advantage here. Me and my friend have a bet; the bet is who can get more followers on Instagram. So i ask of you to please follow me at chachixo! It gives you a chance to see how i look at help me out. If you help me out i promise, MARK MY WORDS, i will post a chapter every day for atleast two of my stories. So what do you say will you guys help me out?

Remember it's chachixo no capitals or spaces just like that. Under my name is a hashtag and it and it says #CHACHI the "H" is in a diffrent font. SO come on guys help me win this bet. :)

* * *

"Is that all?" I ask Rosalie. We came back to Escala alone so she could gather the remainder of her belongings under my supervision. I decided to come alone, I need some time alone with her.

"Yes it is. But let me just tell you something ana."

I put my hand up indicating for her to stop talking.

"No Rosalie just stop. I may not have known you for long, but i know you well enough to know that to know that what will come out of your mouth will be a load of crap."

She glares and is about to talk until she is interupted by my... mother? Mom?

"Mom what are you doing her?" I ask flustered.

I wasnt aware she will be coming here to Seattle, why wouldnt she let me know?

"Honey it was a suprise. I have something to tell you that i think warrented a visit."

A visit? What is so important.

"R..Rosalie...?!" My mom says looking taken aback.

The fuck? Oh no no no, if my mom says she slept with Rosalie as well i may just have to jump off a cliff.

"What? Mom how do you know Rosalie?" I say looking between them both.

To my suprise Rosalie looks just as suprised. What the fuck is going on?!

"Wait how do you know two know eachother?... Anastasia this is actually what i wanted to discuss with you,.. Uh honey how about we go to dinner, and discuss it?"

She makes a head for the dorr until i stop her.

"No mom stop stalling, what is going on?"

God please don't let her tell me she is a lesbian because of Rosalie. Jesus this girl gets around.

"Honey..."

"Mom please just tell me!" I say exasparated.

"Yea how do you know me?" Rosalie chimes in, putting down her belongings.

The tension is thick, the anticipation high.

My fingers are crossed behind my back, rosalie's eye brows forming a frown, mom's lips quivering.

What the fuck is going on!

"Honey... I... You... Your father, your real father he had a daughter, a daughter i wasnt aware of, until two days ago.. and."

Oh please no. God pleasee no, just let her be a lesbian!

"Well Anastasia, Rosalie is.. She is your father's daughter. She is your new sister."

"WHAT!" I say.

"WHAT!" Rosalie follows with equal shock.

"Yea baby , you have a sister." My mother says clasping her hands together and smiling.

Oh fuck.


End file.
